Author Topic: Distiiled Wisdom  (Read 74593 times)

Gazongola

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #300 on: November 24, 2008, 12:43:19 am »
Ah... Now I understand.

Herr Döktor

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #301 on: November 24, 2008, 12:45:31 am »
Just remembered some aposite Distilled Wisdom:

"Only a fool argues with his Doctor"

:)

clockwork creation

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #302 on: November 24, 2008, 12:20:21 pm »
Just remembered some aposite Distilled Wisdom:

"Only a fool argues with his Doctor"

:)


DR. well we have come to the conclusion after lengthy tests that you are suffering from a cold
PATIENT. what can you do to fix it ?
DR. put you on a 9 year waiting list to have your face smashed in with a brick

here in the UK sometimes you have to argue with ya doctor
I am a freak in control not a control freak

Gazongola

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #303 on: November 24, 2008, 01:34:32 pm »
Just remembered some aposite Distilled Wisdom:

"Only a fool argues with his Doctor"

:)


DR. well we have come to the conclusion after lengthy tests that you are suffering from a cold
PATIENT. what can you do to fix it ?
DR. put you on a 9 year waiting list to have your face smashed in with a brick

here in the UK sometimes you have to argue with ya doctor

I had to do that when I had to convince the doctor that my mouth ulcers were a side effect of being on malaria pills for three weeks.

qubehead

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #304 on: November 24, 2008, 07:37:04 pm »
Just remembered some aposite Distilled Wisdom:

"Only a fool argues with his Doctor"

:)


DR. well we have come to the conclusion after lengthy tests that you are suffering from a cold
PATIENT. what can you do to fix it ?
DR. put you on a 9 year waiting list to have your face smashed in with a brick

here in the UK sometimes you have to argue with ya doctor

I had to do that when I had to convince the doctor that my mouth ulcers were a side effect of being on malaria pills for three weeks.

Which brings to mind this nugget:

Good, fast, cheap:  You can have any two.

Dr cornelius quack

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #305 on: November 24, 2008, 10:53:45 pm »
From "Reggie Perrin"

Dr. Morrisey (kneeling over prone body of CJ) "My god! He's dead!"

CJ (Opening one eye) "Your fired!!"
Such are the feeble bases on which many a public character rests.

Today, I am two, separate Gorillas.

SteamBlast Mary

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #306 on: November 24, 2008, 11:07:04 pm »
On that note-

Homer Simpson- about to hammer a stake into Mr Burns' heart (Treehouse of Horror):

 "Kill my boss? Am I ready to live out the American Dream??"

 Stakes him. Burns/Dracula melts to goo, briefly reforms to utter:

"You're fired!"
 
 -before returning to goo.
'I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night’

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #307 on: November 24, 2008, 11:15:02 pm »
I once proved that my uncle was a vampire... I drove a stake through his heart and he died.

Sean Patrick O-Byrne

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #308 on: December 03, 2008, 06:23:36 am »
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Well I've worked among the spitters and I've breathed the oily smoke
I've shovelled up the gypsum and it neigh 'on makes you choke
I've stood knee deep cyanide, got sick with a caustic burn
Been working rough, I've seen enough, to make your stomach turn


www.doctorsteel.com

von Corax

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #309 on: December 03, 2008, 07:01:15 am »
Always have a good warm-up stretch before engaging in kinky sex.

You should be fit to be tied.
By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
By the Beans of Life do my thoughts acquire speed
My hands acquire a shaking
The shaking becomes a warning
By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #310 on: January 16, 2009, 07:01:20 pm »
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.


sick is not killing it first
I don’t suffer from insanity, I revel in it.                            To die would be an awfully big adventure
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Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #311 on: January 16, 2009, 08:12:27 pm »
"why make it easy for yourself, when it's so easy to make it difficult."- Ronny Eriksson
99 square ångströmparsec of beer on the wall!
99 square ångströmparsec of beer!
take one down, and pass it around
98 square ångströmparsec of beer on the wall!

rovingjack

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #312 on: January 18, 2009, 04:04:34 am »
"man who puts his genitals in penut butter is F**king nuts."
which is actually wrong because penuts are a legume.

Confusion say: Huh? what?
When an explosion explodes hard enough, the dust wakes up and thinks about itself.

lilibat

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #313 on: January 18, 2009, 06:18:25 am »
Clothes work better used on the outside of the body.

Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #314 on: February 08, 2009, 12:10:10 pm »
"To think before you speak, is like wiping your ass before you shit." -Arne Anka

Marrock

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #315 on: February 08, 2009, 03:39:32 pm »
Clothes work better used on the outside of the body.

Not entirely true...

Sometimes they're best scattered about on the floor. ;)  ;D

JingleJoe

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #316 on: February 08, 2009, 03:43:00 pm »
Clothes work better used on the outside of the body.

Not entirely true...

Sometimes they're best scattered about on the floor. ;)  ;D
Technically that's still outside the body ;)

"To think before you speak, is like wiping your ass before you shit." -Arne Anka
I beg to differ!
If I don't think before I speak I stutter and stumble through my scentances and they do not come out good, so I thought about it for a moment and came up with this counter distilled wisdom in the same vein... or rather the same digestive tract;

To think before you speak, is like realising you can crap flowers instead of shit.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 03:49:21 pm by JingleJoe »
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Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #317 on: February 08, 2009, 03:50:42 pm »
Clothes work better used on the outside of the body.

Not entirely true...

Sometimes they're best scattered about on the floor. ;)  ;D
Technically that's still outside the body ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_underwear
 ::)
"To think before you speak, is like wiping your ass before you shit." -Arne Anka
I beg to differ!
If I don't think before I speak I stutter and stumble through my scentances and they do not come out good, so I thought about it for a moment and came up with this counter distilled wisdom in the same vein... or rather the same digestive tract;

To think before you speak, is like realising you can crap flowers instead of shit.
And i counter with:
Bullshit makes the flowers grow

« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 03:57:01 pm by Hägglund »

JennyWren

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #318 on: February 08, 2009, 05:13:55 pm »

Bullshit makes the flowers grow


Does that also apply to verbal diarrhoea  ???

Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #319 on: February 08, 2009, 05:57:59 pm »

Bullshit makes the flowers grow


Does that also apply to verbal diarrhoea  ???
YES!

(Pulled that answer out of my ass)

SteamBlast Mary

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #320 on: February 13, 2009, 05:22:54 pm »

"It is more important for you to be right than it is for someone else to be happy"

"Saying "I told you so" when someone is upset ensures the lesson is driven home".

Two pieces of wisdom I learnt from my father.

I'm off to take my medication now.

Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #321 on: February 13, 2009, 07:23:07 pm »
"When two people think alike, then one of them is redundant"

JingleJoe

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #322 on: February 13, 2009, 07:28:46 pm »
"When two people think alike, then one of them is redundant"
What if they were both thinking of a thing that only two people could do?

Loop holes, man! You gotta tie up your loop holes ;)

Hägglund

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #323 on: February 13, 2009, 07:50:37 pm »
"When two people think alike, then one of them is redundant"
What if they were both thinking of a thing that only two people could do?

Loop holes, man! You gotta tie up your loop holes ;)

"DON'T forget the loop holes" :-[

 ;D

But actually, there is no reason to have two persons that thinks the same. It's cheaper to have one person thats think and one to just follow orders, and it's better to have two people that don't thinks the same and come up with a better solution/compromise.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2009, 08:23:38 pm by Hägglund »

Laverna Lovett~

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Re: Distiiled Wisdom
« Reply #324 on: February 21, 2009, 10:19:04 pm »
Clothes work better used on the outside of the body.

Not entirely true...

Sometimes they're best scattered about on the floor. ;)  ;D
Technically that's still outside the body ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_underwear
 ::)

did you by any chance read the webpage before you posted the link for it?
here is an excerpt from the "candy panties" wikipedia link:
:
As sugar is a favorite food of yeast, it is advisable to avoid contact between sugar and the vagina, or the woman may risk a yeast infection. When edible underwear will be touching the vagina, care should therefore be taken to ensure it does not contain sugars.

There is also danger to the edible underwear eater- as there are food illnesses related to eating something that has touched the anus.