Distiiled Wisdom

[Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth]

Give a man a fire and he's warm for the rest of the day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

[The Kernel]

That was Terry Pratchet wasn't it?

[Dr. Oliver Cross]

If at first you don't succeed, do NOT take up skydiving.

[Haizea]

To elaborate on Zwack's earlier quote...

A friend is someone you call to help you move. A real friend is someone you call to help you move a body.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sat beside you in the cell saying "Man, we screwed up."

Walk a mile in a man's shoes and all you'll get is similar frickin' foot odour.

"Okay, here's the plan: We go in. I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us."

"Be yourself, unless you suck." (ah, the sharp tongue of Joss Wheadon)

The devil makes work for idle hands...so for crying out loud, just type in proper English.

"If your God gives you lemons, find a new God."
(To be honest, that one can go either way.)

[Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth]

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Actually, I prefer this one:

If life gives you lemons, burn them.

That was Terry Pratchet wasn't it?

I think so.

[Samuel]

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Actually, I prefer this one:

If life gives you lemons, burn them.

That was Terry Pratchet wasn't it?

I think so.

I heard 'if life gives you lemons, find someone life has given vodka, and party!'

[Samuel]

Just because im paranoid doesnt mean the world isnt out to get me

Your never alone with Schizophrenia

Obsessive compulsives do it again and again and again,and...........

If cleanliness is next to godliness, then obsseive compulsives must be saints

"42"

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

Add another one.

'Well, I may have alzheimers, but at least I don't have Alzheimers...'

[JennyWren]

Add another one.

'Well, I may have alzheimers, but at least I don't have Alzheimers...'

I know some one with alzheimers, I know some one with alzheimers,I know some one with alzheimers

[Michael Bend Esq.]

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Actually, I prefer this one:

If life gives you lemons, burn them.

That was Terry Pratchet wasn't it?

I think so.

I heard 'if life gives you lemons, find someone life has given vodka, and party!'

I prefer "If life gives you lemons, put the juice in a water pistol and shoot people in the eyes"

[TinkererInTraining]

before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way they're a mile away and barefoot.

[Master Murdoch]

before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way they're a mile away and barefoot.

I prefer the version, if your going to insult someone, walk a mile in thier shoes, then your a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

[Master Murdoch]

"if your God gives you lemons, find a new God."
(To be honest, that one can go either way.)

"if your God gives you lemons, thier a prat"

[Marrock]

"if your God gives you lemons, thier they're a prat"

Fixed.

[Mrs. Sullivan]

"If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)?" - Jack Handey, Deeper Thoughts

[Dr cornelius quack]

If life deals you lemmings, don't go jogging with them.

[Herr Döktor]

If life deals you lemmings, don't go jogging with them.

Lemming fizz, anyone?

[Mrs. Sullivan]

If life deals you lemmings, don't go jogging with them.

Lemming fizz, anyone?

Is that a blender drink? 

[Marrock]

The only other way to get juice out of a lemming is too disgusting to comtemplate...

[GarethG]

'Education is no substitute for intelligence'- My Dad, don't know if he got it from somewhere else though.

[Jennette Haber]

alwys bring bannannas to a party

[Marrock]

'Education is no substitute for intelligence'- My Dad, don't know if he got it from somewhere else though.

Sounds like what my father used to say about college: "The one thing they can't teach you is common sense."

[Haizea]

On a more serious note:
'Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as though you'll die today.'

[Lady Penelope]

'Education is no substitute for intelligence'- My Dad, don't know if he got it from somewhere else though.

Sounds like what my father used to say about college: "The one thing they can't teach you is common sense."

Or my dad's "Some people have lots of book learning, but no walking-around sense."   

[Angel]

"Calling someone a friend doesn't mean they won't screw you over, it just puts them above suspicion."

One of mine. It's not funny, but it's true more times than you'd like to think.

[Marrock]

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, and I'll eat your eyes."