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Author Topic: who remembers the Angli?  (Read 691 times)
Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
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Netherlands Netherlands


the dragon's called Salmacis


« on: October 28, 2015, 01:01:29 pm »

I asked you for help on their clothing a while back.

so, here's a little bit of a teaser. all raw, no spell or grammar check...or anything at all.

-----
With the pumping machines behind me I rose above the mountains. Far above the rooftops, higher than angli flight. It was spectacular, but a nagging doubt kept me from feeling any awe over the view. While the angli hunts were officially over, a group of 25 anglice had been caught for "research purposes". This had torn apart an otherwise functioning swarm and make me doubt if I should continue what I did, or give it up and help my people.
Lost in thought I did not see the swarm of brown wings emerging from the hills before us until Ember alerted me. Anglica. I then realized. Women, deprived of their partners and ho'eh. "Their ribbons look pink to me" I informed my friend. "The shade indicates they're from the northern river swarm. The same swarm as the 25 captured genderless."  Genderless. Anglice. ho'eh. To humans it was all the same. Same strange. Embers pale hand grabbed mine, as if she felt my uneasiness. The anglica rose to disastrous hights to reach us, so I lifted my left wing to show them I was not human scum, but it was too late. A pink feathered arrow pierced the balloon of the airboat that was our practice vessel, sending us on the loose. Quickly we turned off the engine but it did not help at all. I heard the Anglica shouting as I instinctively grabbed Ember close and jumped overboard.

The next thing I knew was I was laying on a bed, being watched by the yellow eyes of a dark skinned anglico. A raven, I realized when I spotted his pitch black and clawed wings. His fangs showed when he gave me a lopsided smile. My heart dropped at his amazingly good looks and it dropped even further as he started to speak. All angli have musical voices, but his was just a little -more- musical. He spoke to me in my native language. "Child of East Trading Swarm, ho'oh of *a#yeh, Welcome" I smiled, actually feeling very welcome in this swarm. Before I responded formally. "Child of North River Swarm, who's heritage I do not know, thank you." He returned the smile. "I'm ho'eh of u'e'oh. My name is ^a'y'el." "*A'inn" I responded with my name as well, even though he, I mean hse, had probably read that in the family books already. "Nice to meet you *a'inn. You are safe now, the human is caged and will be punished for your deformities. For everything she did to you we will do something similar to her, like angli law describes." I jumped up from my bed, ignoring the pain in my body. "Let Ember go!" I shouted only to get a questioning look. "You should rest" ^a'y'el pushed me back into my hammock but I grabbed hir hand quickly. "Please, a gift from one angli to another... get Ember out of her punishment, she is my friend" hse didn't look like he understood but hse nodded. "I'll do my best" was hir promise as hse walked off.
-----
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"Crazy pseudo-scot living in a fantasy world"
MWBailey
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« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2015, 07:05:03 am »

Interesting! Will you be posting more on here?
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Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Netherlands Netherlands


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2015, 12:08:28 pm »

Interesting! Will you be posting more on here?

If there is interest, then I think I will!
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Steampunk Away
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Long Live The Icarus!

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« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2015, 03:47:29 pm »

I like it, but the odd name and language right off the bat is a little confusing. But besides that and a few grammatical errors, I see no reason for it not to be a great story.

Edit: Misunderstood the line about no editing. Apologies.
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Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Netherlands Netherlands


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2015, 05:16:24 pm »

I like it, but the odd name and language right off the bat is a little confusing. But besides that and a few grammatical errors, I see no reason for it not to be a great story.

Edit: Misunderstood the line about no editing. Apologies.

Angli names are humanised mostly throughout what Ive written so far. This is just a bit i did and decided to share Wink i can also give a guide to angli pronunciation of you like. *a'inn bevome calinn and ^a'y'el is humanised to Gabriel.

English is not my native language, hence the grammar mistakes. Still have to take them out.
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Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Netherlands Netherlands


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2016, 09:17:58 pm »

The man held the child in a firm grip close to his chest. I saw the kid tremble in his arms. I knew him, his name was ha'aan and he was of about my age. We got along okay, but never were good friends. Still it was nerve wrecking to see this man carry him to the clifftop. I knew ha'aan to be  the first of many and though it was the habit of my people and happened every spring, this year was the first year I dared to watch as the man held his son above the depths. Knowing the cliff to be about 20 menhights there was no way ha'aan and the others could survive the drop. I should be there with ha'aan, as one of the first to go through this rite, but instead they had given me a seat on the grassland together with the elders. Si'rraah, a girl from my schooling group had smiled at me. "You're lucky" she had winked. "You get to see fi'ya* shit his pants in fear"
« Last Edit: January 02, 2016, 03:28:45 pm by Caledonian » Logged
Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Netherlands Netherlands


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2016, 11:13:44 am »


in case anyone wants to learn the language
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Prof. Cecily
Snr. Officer
****
Spain Spain



« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2016, 10:51:07 am »

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, this is splendid.
I'm looking forward to reading more!

I remain yours,
Prof. Cecily
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ZeroID
Gunner
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New Zealand New Zealand


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« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2016, 10:56:13 pm »

This has promise, please continue.

Alternative societies well written are always intriguing, I enjoy figuring out the nuances of the language and terms used. Lets me build my own picture of the peoples and culture. Anything that stirs the imagination to 'see' new worlds.
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