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Author Topic: Shark Jumps Steampunk  (Read 758 times)
Zeppelin Admiral
United States United States

« on: August 22, 2015, 06:14:50 pm »

Another parody article:

"Shark jumps Steampunk, experts unsure of the meaning"

"Cape Town -- In an unprecedented move today, a shark has jumped a Steampunk couple as they were attempting to work on their hobby steamboat.

Two years ago, South African steam power and science fiction enthusiasts, Werner and Marieke Oldenburgen of Johannesburg found Steampunk to be a perfect marriage of their interests. They thought nothing of taking their latest contraption, a rowboat with a refurbished 120 year steam engine, out for a test ride at the nearby False Bay. 'It's a beautiful place, we've gone out there many times to see seals, and hopefully see sharks. But we never thought this would happen.'

When the couple were out in the bay, they experienced engine trouble. Marieke said, 'We burst a valve. It appears that hot glue is great for costume pieces, but not a sufficient bond for fittings that come into contact with a boiler.' At at that point they began to row back, and that is when it happened. Werner said, 'As we were rowing back, a shark jumped the boat. It was a complete shock. I never expected to see it. But it has ruined Steampunk for me. I don't think I will ever be able to spray paint a gear again. That, and I got completely wet.'

False Bay, South Africa is a noted seal rookery and attracts some of the world's largest sharks during seal calving season. While hunting seal the sharks are known to completely jump out of the water.

Experts are split on what it means. When the photo was shown to several noted Steampunks and Steampunk critics the reaction was amazement and incredulity. Some suggest that it is yet another nail in Steampunk's coffin, while others are more hopeful.

Cory Gross, a long time critic of steampunk said, 'Steampunk fandom descended into idiocy around 2006. I've been expecting this for a while.'

Charles Nagy, a.k.a. Datamancer commented, 'Oh, this is bad, It's very bad. People have been saying that Steampunk jumped the shark for quite a while, but this really takes it to a whole new level.'

Jack Horner, a little known but intensely self-important Steampunk said, 'It's obviously Photoshopped. Look at the prow, the leading line is too well defined. The steam engine is clearly 'shopped in as well, probably from a model of the African Queen. Anyway, sharks don't actually jump like that.'

Jake Von Slatt, considered by many to be the godfather of the Steampunk subculture, said, 'It looks like a Facebook meme to me. I don't do Facebook.'

G.D. Falksen, an eminent Steampunk author noted, 'I totally believe it; sharks have been jumping me for years.'

In reply, Thomas Willeford was overheard muttering, 'Hey, I made that shark. Now please excuse me, I need to go do the pajama dance.'

Mike Perschon, a.k.a. Steampunk Scholar noted, 'This isn't the end of Steampunk aesthetic. This is just like the Disney pin uproar a few years back. The truth is, sharks have been a part of steampunk since Blaylock.' "

(by Jack Horner, 2013)
Zeppelin Captain
United States United States

Minions Local 305, at your thervice!

« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2015, 04:34:19 pm »

At least it wasn't Chachie on water skis...Wink The two most sought-after boasts of a hipster are the discovery of something new, or the pronouncement of the end of something established...
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