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Author Topic: On Vampire Killing Kits  (Read 803 times)
Captain Lyerly
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« on: July 12, 2015, 09:23:39 pm »

They are fun!  They are great!  They are a wonderful opportunity to Steampunk the heck out of something, with no worries - because they never existed.

Here's one more article about them:  http://vamped.org/2014/10/31/6-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-buy-an-antique-vampire-killing-kit/

In which he makes some very valid points.  But he still misses one very important little detail...  Anybody who has studied the material culture of the 19th and early 20th century will tell you that EVERYTHING was advertised.  Billboards, posters, sandwich boards, but most of all newspaper ads.  And if you go back through the archives, looking for Vampire Killing Kits - or any of the various things they have been called, from undead protection sets to monster defense systems (both of which are horribly anachronistic, btw), and you will not find any.  Nor any ads for nostrums against vampirism (which would be more likely than some complicated kit), nor any other commercial product.

I have found many articles on the curious beliefs of Eastern Europeans, Servians, Montenegrins, and so on.  I have found advertisements for books, plays, and motion pictures about vampires and vampirism - very popular grist for the mills at the time.  

But even as tongue-in-cheek souvenirs?  Not a single reference.  Not even in fiction, other than what Van Helsing had with him.  

The most popular fakes were supposedly "manufactured in Boston, and sent mail-order."  How did anybody know about them, then?  Unadvertised word of mouth?  Not at that point in time.  Oh, and those were the ones where the paper was found to be late-20th century, artificially aged.





Cheers!

Chas.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2015, 05:14:33 am by Captain Lyerly » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2015, 09:35:46 pm »

That's because they never met Father Limón, a Mexican head of a monastery, and Steampunk maker of anti-vampirical weapons!  Grin

http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=26636.25
« Last Edit: July 12, 2015, 09:39:29 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged

Captain Lyerly
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« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2015, 05:14:11 am »

Ah, Padre Limón!  Wonderful!

Yeah - I think the field is ripe for Steampunk versions - we have seen quite a few good ones come through here! - and if each one that is sold includes a reminder that anybody who paid $25,000 for a non-Steampunk version did get ripped off, we can spread knowledge as well.


Cheesy


Cheers!

Chas.
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« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2015, 06:52:35 am »

Did I mention Father Limón will include as a package deal sundry vials of holy water?  I know there's at least one co-worker at my place of employment on whom I'd love to test the effect of holy water. 
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henrietta Devereux
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« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2015, 10:19:06 am »

Of course travellers to Eastern Europe would need to defend themselves against entities they meet on their  travels through Transylvania. Just because Bram had not written his book in 1850 we must not forget that Vlad the Impaler (reputed sire of the current British Royal family) and his exploits were well known.

Then there are the touts, retailers of tacky holiday memento's and dodgy timeshares that need to be repelled with silver bullets and holy water. The auction houses have just rebranded the Vlad Killing Kits as Vampire to appeal to a wider target audience and so as not to make anyone with the Christian name Vlad feel targeted. No idea as to wether or not they included a certain Mr Putin amongst their consumer feedback panel.

Personally I suspect I would find such a kit useful on many trips to popular tourist spots, city centres and exhibitions. I may even take it on my next trip to the local shopping centre. I have my suspicions about that Big Issue salesperson. There every day for several years and now I think about it he is not looking older.
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Serrac
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« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2015, 11:22:15 am »

Personally I suspect I would find such a kit useful on many trips to popular tourist spots, city centres and exhibitions. I may even take it on my next trip to the local shopping centre.

For short journeys in to the inner bowels of shopping centres as well as fighting off the hordes of undead that walk the streets at the weekend, I find a stout cane to be handy. Vampires and werewolves are unlikely to be out in the daytime, which just leaves zombies & vapid shoppers to contend with.
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Captain Lyerly
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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2015, 03:13:49 am »

Might I suggest "vapid shoppers and other zombies"?

Cheesy



Cheers!

Chas.
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2015, 06:53:48 am »

FYI there are also dozens of bogus "gambler kits" put together from period items, but into kits that never actually existed.

yhs
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« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2015, 08:27:56 pm »

Hmmm just looking around the things in my house, I'm pretty sure I could build up a complete Vampire killing kit, or at least some sort of spirit killing / calling kit.

Actually, has anyone done the "Antique" 'ghost hunting kit' thing yet?... If not I call dibs!!  Grin



OK, I think I'm going to attempt this one, keep an eye on Tactile in the next day or two.  Grin
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« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2015, 01:47:58 am »

Huh.  For a brief second I was looking at the title of this thread, and I though I read "Vampire Killing Kilts!" What a concept!  Grin
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2015, 05:43:23 am »

Huh.  For a brief second I was looking at the title of this thread, and I though I read "Vampire Killing Kilts!" What a concept!  Grin


My Dear J - I love it!
A New Fashion Trend!
Heavy Black Leather Kilts and Shirts to be worn whilst Killing Vampires!
Blend In and Get Close to the target!

(microphone not included)
yhs
prof marvel
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« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2015, 06:31:41 am »

Hmmm just looking around the things in my house, I'm pretty sure I could build up a complete Vampire killing kit, or at least some sort of spirit killing / calling kit.


Ah My Good Skumins -
I was inspired by you missive, and ran straightaway to the kitchen laboratory and whipped up my own kit, all from common household items:



Note the crossed flatware silver cross; the cunning oriental wooden chopstick stake ; the awesome silver butterknife combat knife; and the shotglass of gin vessel of holy water - how do I know it's holy? because i blessed the hell out of it! And it's all housed in the heirloom  custom cardboard box wood-product carrycase.

yhs
prof marvel
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« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2015, 10:13:55 pm »

Hmmm just looking around the things in my house, I'm pretty sure I could build up a complete Vampire killing kit, or at least some sort of spirit killing / calling kit.


Ah My Good Skumins -
I was inspired by you missive, and ran straightaway to the kitchen laboratory and whipped up my own kit, all from common household items:



Note the crossed flatware silver cross; the cunning oriental wooden chopstick stake ; the awesome silver butterknife combat knife; and the shotglass of gin vessel of holy water - how do I know it's holy? because i blessed the hell out of it! And it's all housed in the heirloom  custom cardboard box wood-product carrycase.

yhs
prof marvel



 Grin Cheesy Wink Nice!...
I dare you to put up for sale!  Tongue


Mine is progressing, I just need to decide on which box to use - two smaller antique boxes and two bigger (but flatter) modern cutlery type boxes to chose from...
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2015, 12:49:28 am »

Huh.  For a brief second I was looking at the title of this thread, and I though I read "Vampire Killing Kilts!" What a concept!  Grin


My Dear J - I love it!
A New Fashion Trend!
Heavy Black Leather Kilts and Shirts to be worn whilst Killing Vampires!
Blend In and Get Close to the target!

(microphone not included)
yhs
prof marvel



I figure that a vampire killing kilt would be a relatively straightforward concept.  Basically a variation of the "utility kilt," just with plenty of pockets to store all the weapons one might need, including ammo like silver-jacket bullets.  A sporran would contain holy water filled vials or grenades with silver shrapnel.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2015, 12:51:52 am by J. Wilhelm » Logged
MWBailey
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« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2015, 07:24:11 am »

An' wha'd we scotsmen  wear under yon kilt?
« Last Edit: July 19, 2015, 07:31:11 am by MWBailey » Logged

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« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2015, 07:46:05 am »

An' wha'd we scotsmen  wear under yon kilt?

I don't know about others but at the very least, I always wear a gun.  ALWAYS  Grin
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« Reply #16 on: July 20, 2015, 02:49:40 am »

An' wha'd we scotsmen  wear under yon kilt?
Shoes?
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« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2015, 02:54:25 am »

An' wha'd we scotsmen  wear under yon kilt?

*ahem*

Alleged actual response from alleged actual Scot when allegedly asked this self-same alleged question:

"Yer wife's lips."
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MWBailey
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« Reply #18 on: July 20, 2015, 05:54:38 pm »

An' wha'd we scotsmen  wear under yon kilt?

*ahem*

Alleged actual response from alleged actual Scot when allegedly asked this self-same alleged question:

"Yer wife's lips."



HA!   Cheesy
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