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Author Topic: Ask a Villain. (interactive writing project)  (Read 33747 times)
Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
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United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


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« on: March 02, 2013, 11:16:03 pm »

I am starting a steampunk writing project in tumblr but I can only get so far without input. Have you ever wanted to to ask a villain a question without the possibility of being disintegrated or mind controlled? Well here is your chance.  I will post the answers both here and on tumbler so you don't have to wait for the queue to catch up.  I will use whatever name you want so in persona questions are perfect.
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I have a picture blog thinger now
http://stella-gaslight.tumblr.com/

Look for me on Etsy
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ByGaslight
Lazaras
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


Have Wierd; Will Travel.


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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2013, 07:34:01 am »

I for one enjoy this nonsense. If you need help fielding answers I'll be happy to toss my hat in the ring.
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Cheapie Theatre
Want something to read? Got ten minutes to kill? Here you go!
steamcowboy92
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States

I work for money. You want loyalty get a dog.


« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2013, 07:52:29 am »

*Walks in room and tips hat to Stella*

"Hello darlin' I'll help as much as I can to answer your or anyones questions. I'm a rather experienced villain and I give my word, for what it's worth,  that I'll try not to disintegrate anyone this time. Ask away "
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 07:58:49 am by steamcowboy92 » Logged

I will kill you however I can , wherever I can, with whatever I have. You will regret ever making me decide to take action. -William W. Johnstone.
Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2013, 08:18:53 am »

Well if you want to answer on tumbler I can add you as a member if I know your email.  Here is the link to the blog.  http://the-society-of-deadly-darlings.tumblr.com/  I meant to put it in earlier but I forgot.  I think I may also do villain profiles if you all would want to write one up.
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Lady Chrystal
Master Tinkerer
***
Wales Wales


Lady Adventurer, Chronicler


« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2013, 09:36:55 am »

Sounds like a fun idea - I shall watch with interest.
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"The Chrystal? Ah, now - that would be telling."
.
chicar
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Canada Canada


Student in Techno-Shamanism and Lyncanthrope

Chicar556
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« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2013, 02:58:34 pm »

Sorry to bring bronyism in the discussion, but the subjects are too alike to me not suggest you to take inspiration:
http://askresearchertwilight.tumblr.com/tagged/ResearcherTwilight/chrono
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The word pagan came from paganus , who mean peasant . Its was a way to significate than christianism was the religion of the elite and paganism the one of the savage worker class.

''Trickster shows us how we trick OURSELVES. Her rampant curiosity backfires, but, then, something NEW is discovered (though usually not what She expected)! This is where creativity comes from—experiment, do something different, maybe even something forbidden, and voila! A breakthrough occurs! Ha! Ha! We are released! The world is created anew! Do something backwards, break your own traditions, the barrier breaks; destroy the world as you know it, let the new in.''
Extract of the Dreamflesh article ''Path of The Sacred Clown''
Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2013, 09:34:27 pm »

So what kind of questions are you all most interested in? Minion management, dressing for success, the root of all evil, world domination and you?
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Lazaras
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


Have Wierd; Will Travel.


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« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2013, 09:28:48 pm »

Minion Managment and iNtermediate goals between NOw and World Conquest.

ALso 'what happens when more than one villain tries taking over the world at once?' Hint: it never ends well.
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2013, 11:14:20 pm »

I may write mini essays about the first two when I have net access through something other than my phone.  As for your question in such a case a villain battle is sure to happen.  Now the form of that battle depends on the villains in question.  Giant robot duals, death trap courses, ray gun fights, science fares and minion hurling(with both humans and machines) are all fairly common and in a few odd cases karaoke dance offs have been used in the past.  The two disputed rulers pick their match and invite their peers in evil to watch (partly to keep things even partly because everyone likes a party).  I have been to 7 contests for the throne of Mu and I must say they were the social event of the year.  I had a few too many lovely fizzy drinks to remember the outcome tho.
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2013, 11:44:22 pm »

How many iron golems can travel on the Flying Scotsman at the same time?
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Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
walking stick
Zeppelin Admiral
******
England England


« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2013, 12:21:09 am »

Quote from the song Evil Overlords Anonymous.
When the urge for carnage gets too strong,
When you feel the need to laugh that manic laugh,
Don't give in to temptation come along to Evil Overlords Anonymous

and from the evil overlords rules for success "I will not become a snake. It never helps"
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2013, 12:49:33 am »

How many iron golems can travel on the Flying Scotsman at the same time?

Around 20 provided the weather isn't too bad but I would cheat and add magnetic lugs so I could have nearly twice that with only a small loss of speed.  An of corse cheeting is a perfectly valad battle stratagy.
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pakled
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Minions Local 305, at your thervice!


« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2013, 05:48:16 am »

If the Dark Side has cookies, does Dark Villainy have scones?...Wink
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2013, 07:35:16 am »

I normaly have tea cakes with green iceing(because not even evil can make black iceing taste good black sugar skulls are a festive touch tho.)
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2013, 08:14:08 am »

I have all the questions fixed up and ready to post tomorrow.  Keep them coming.
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walking stick
Zeppelin Admiral
******
England England


« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2013, 12:08:01 am »

Could you suggest a useful retirement project for my surviving minions as they are no longer fit for general mayhem.
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2013, 05:14:30 am »

I normally use them for construction projects and simple day to day labour.   My house staff is entirely older minions because they know how to deal with unauthorised persons.  I haven't had a pushy door to door salesman in years.  Tho when all they have left keeping them going is spite and a general hate for humanity find putting them in to government service amusing.  If you ever wondered why the post office or other places where you wait in line forever seem to always have a grumpy old person now you know.
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2013, 06:08:30 am »

What is the proper setting for a six-place table if one is serving a twelve-course meal with strycchnine penny ice for dessert? (simply an academic question, of course HAARRUUMMPHH)
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2013, 06:40:46 am »

Put out the second best china in-case of complications also it is neater to have non white table linen whenever a stain-able substance is used to solve problems.  Also make sure you have either loyal retainers or meat shields beside you on both sides just to be safe. Keep your food cost reasonable there is no reason to be extravagant even if you want their last meal to be memorable. After all lairs and minions are expensive especially when you are just starting out.
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Koenig
Officer
***
United States United States



« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2013, 07:58:00 am »

Ill bust out my villain persona for this question:

The Alchemist ask's: "One villain to another, what would you say is the best way to hide a massive time machine in plain sight? I have been thinking about building a clock-tower to hide it in, but those crafty Steampunk engineers might be on to me..."

Your new ally and partner in Antagonist-ship: The Alchemist~

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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #20 on: March 07, 2013, 09:12:47 am »

If I were to hide it I would go for a water tower.  People tend to forget they are even there after a few weeks.  There is a rather large one not too far from one of my outbuilding and when I try to use it for directions people can't seem to find it.  Somehow it has become the giant elephant that is practically invisible and sometimes attracts bonus lightning bolts that are rather useful.  if you are more rural a grain silo or windmill can work perfectly as well. 
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Koenig
Officer
***
United States United States



« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2013, 09:45:08 pm »

If you need to mass produce an army of Autonomous robots but lack the resources to build them yourself, what would you do to build them in time for your grand plan?
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #22 on: March 07, 2013, 11:02:30 pm »

Never underestimate the power of marketing.   All you need to do is plan ahead.  Make a few sample solders but make them without visible weapons and give them to a few people in power as clockwork house servants.  Pretty soon you will have people paying you to build the army that will destroy them.  Then all you need is a recall switch and when the time comes they will all be called to your side.  A bit of extra programming and they loot the houses before they leave netting you a good bonus. 
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Lazaras
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


Have Wierd; Will Travel.


WWW
« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2013, 06:41:49 pm »

If the Dark Side has cookies, does Dark Villainy have scones?...Wink

Given most of the Empire's officers are apparently British I would say this is likely.

If you need to mass produce an army of Autonomous robots but lack the resources to build them yourself, what would you do to build them in time for your grand plan?

Hrm Depends on the need and the 'grandness' of the plan. You can always outsource, but it's always best ot make sure you can inspect all units before fielding to make sure there's been no in-factory tampering (remember all it takes is ONE that's been modified to be eyes and ears.... also for the love of FSM make sure you audit the software for sleeper commands. Just wouldn't do to be deposed by robot shooting you in the back since you didn't trust human henchmen.)

Personally I'm a fan of open source designs both because it's easy to grab what you want from wherever, and if the source is totally avalible (not the commands/orders mind you just the base logic and whatnot) you can get the entire internet arguing over this or that, help optimize, and even point out any back doors.)

Having someone you trust to do a personal audit if you yourself are not up to the task is important. However showing that level oftrust is going to by nessicity of the occupation be difficult.


Lastly, and regrettably, Doctor Steel's own robots are of inadequate reliability. The Miniatures seem to work fine but his full human sized versions... Not so much. Which makes me sad because if there is one i would gladly hand over ambition and title of World Emperor to it'd be that man.

Lady Stela does raise a wonderful point about the power of marketability and selling the concept to the public. However I would be lying if that hasn't been tried before. One Taro Daisho used that stunt a few years back. Marketed his bots as toys and got a loyal consumer base before he updated the firmware. Keep in mind if you go this route there needs to be the assumption that there will be several groups of tinkerers, if not outright Heroes, that have managed to block said firmware update on a few dozen to a few hundred units. Absolute worst case they manage to engineer a second firmware update to trigger at the absolute worst time to usurp controle of your army. This is why once you update you need to have something that triggers a hardware failsafe.
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Stella Gaslight
Moderator
Time Traveler
*
United States United States


Looking for a few good lobsters.


WWW
« Reply #24 on: March 08, 2013, 07:55:50 pm »

The thing to remember about heroes meddling with tech is to set up an iron clad contract to go with each unit.  That way when they do an unauthorised alterations you can send your team of lawyers after them.  It may not help with your current plan but it is vastly amusing to see the heroes running from the systems that where once their allies.     
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