The Steampunk Forum at Brass Goggles
October 18, 2017, 06:57:35 am *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News: Brassgoggles.co.uk - The Lighter Side Of Steampunk, follow @brasstech for forum technical problems & updates.
 
   Home   Blog Help Rules Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: steampunk-ish poetry  (Read 3769 times)
phineas sheridan
Snr. Officer
****
Antarctica Antarctica



« on: March 06, 2007, 04:09:49 am »

some original poems
critique creative criticism

The Trans-Aetheric Man

I've never seen one like him
Many come through in their brass machines
They were always rude and grim
He was a noble fellow
In his black coat and hat
And goggles which made him look mellow
He never once yelled at Ms. Pocket
Or threw a chair at me
And when they broke her locket
(the one with the portraits of her mother and father)
He merely smiled after they left
and said "I'll fix it, It'll be no bother


Brass and Glass

Ancient dusty inner workings
begging to be fixed anew
Ancient secrets of magic lurking
In the chamber of brass and glass

Found upon an oaken shelf
next to the camera (only $35)
There it sat waiting for me
In it's chamber of brass and glass

Taking it home and fixing it up
I unlocked the ancient secret
As it tick-tocked away on the cup
The wondrous chamber of brass and glass

The Bloody Air Brigade

Floating fantastically flawed on the breeze
The great airship majestically sailed
With a Marvelously malicious murdering intent
Any other ships were not to be hailed
Rumbling roaring red-hot engines spin
Turning magnificent props through the air
We all watched it rumble to and fro
Spyglass to my eye and wind in my hair
like a savage, screaming, sower of lead
she poured down a dark deadly din
flashes of fire in the dead of night
cutting down countless crying men
Her Majesty's marvelous machine
Crewed by daring, dreamy, dark men
It was a fanciful far fetched, almost fake dream
To be in The Bloody Air Brigade



Note: this was for a school assignment so the aren't great


cheers

d





Logged

"It's all about the top-hats and goggles"~Jake Von Slatt
Nadya Lev
Guest
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2007, 06:15:11 am »

Wow! My favorite one is the Bloody Air Brigade. Rich word choices and striking imaery..
Logged
phineas sheridan
Snr. Officer
****
Antarctica Antarctica



« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2007, 02:16:06 pm »

thanks
bloody air is me favorite as well

d


p.s. what were you doing up at midnight?
Logged
Radio Saturday
Officer
***


WWW
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2007, 06:37:40 pm »

I also enjoyed "The Bloody Air Brigade," but I thought that "Brass and Glass" showed a great deal of potential. I felt that "The Trans-Aetheric Man" could have been very good, but didn't quite work for me because the poem felt somewhat unstructured. However, I felt that the word choices in all the poems were very graphic (in a good way) and it's definitely an idea worth exploring.

Have you tried experimenting with poetic forms popular in the 19th century to bend to your steampunk will? Wink
Logged

OBSCURE
<a href="http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2190763/1/">Anapura</a>
<a href="http://www.radiosaturday.com">Radio Saturday Press</a>
Ottens
Snr. Officer
****
Netherlands Netherlands


Gatekeeper


WWW
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2007, 07:02:46 pm »

They're pretty nice.  Steampunk poetry, that's new to me.  But an original idea. Wink
Logged
OHebel Wring
Snr. Officer
****
The world is only 80 days away.


WWW
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2007, 11:13:55 pm »

There is something rather rhythmic about the chuck of an engine, the "random" hiss of escaping steam, the metal-on-metal clank of the hammers....


i see something nice in this...

Logged

“The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. “
-Sherlock Holmes
phineas sheridan
Snr. Officer
****
Antarctica Antarctica



« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2007, 01:55:23 am »

I also enjoyed "The Bloody Air Brigade," but I thought that "Brass and Glass" showed a great deal of potential. I felt that "The Trans-Aetheric Man" could have been very good, but didn't quite work for me because the poem felt somewhat unstructured. However, I felt that the word choices in all the poems were very graphic (in a good way) and it's definitely an idea worth exploring.

Have you tried experimenting with poetic forms popular in the 19th century to bend to your steampunk will? Wink

As i said, these were a school project and i hurried through them. I will probably work harder on them later
I had strict-ish guidelines but i am beginning to look into 19th-century poetry styles

in any case, thank you

Ottens-this was a spur-of-the-moment idea to write about steam as i could not think about much else at the time. But yes, it was rather interesting to try.

d



EDIT: please feel free to post original or fav poems in the feel of steam-ness
also note that i am not a very good poet and these are not my best works
« Last Edit: March 08, 2007, 03:05:41 am by phineas sheridan » Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.171 seconds with 16 queries.