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Author Topic: My Steampunk Christmas poem  (Read 6780 times)
Dr. Madd
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Maker of Monsters


« on: December 17, 2011, 03:08:39 pm »

A steampunk Christmas
Twas the Night before Christmas and all through my house;
My mechanical trap was set, I’ll catch the blasted mouse!
The Stockings were hung over my coal burning furnace
But not too close, so that it wouldn’t burn us.
Martha was nestled all snug in her bed
Her bedtime automaton spinning over her head
I in my Pith Helmet, and Mamma in her Gogs;
Were snug in our bed , surrounded by Cogs;
When outside in the yard, I heard a loud a scream
The sound of a valve, emitting hot steam
I rose up to the porthole, and slid open the lock
Grabbed up my spyglass and buttoned my frock
When what to my spyglass outside did appear
But A steam-powered sled, and eight windup reindeer
With a goggled old pilot, with a beard so thick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
With locomotive speed, his contraption advanced
Gears turned, pipes sputtered as his automatons danced
Their mainsprings, their steam pipes, their flywheels
And pistons, their gauges and valves and Gizmos where the fuel was mixin’
On top of the smokestacks! On top of the wall!
I heard loud and clear, the turbine’s loud call!
As soot in the wind from the stovepipe does fly
He met with a windmill and took to the sky
Up to the Housetops, above those asleep
He landed in the world of the chimneysweeps
Then with a screech, he was up on the roof
And I heard the clanking of 16 metal hooves
As I was uncocking my pistol and was turning around
Down the chimney he came with a bound
He was dressed all in khaki, with warm furry trim
And from his aviator to his gaiters soot covered him.
A bundle of toys was kept in his sack
That was slung by a canvas strap on his back
His eyes were all goggled, his face half concealed
As if his nose was a thermometer with the mercury congealed
His droll little mouth drawn up like an socket
And his pipe spewed smoke like a congreave rocket
He had a round face and a stove for a tum
That shook when he laughed and echoed like a drum
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old sort
That I laughed when I saw him, with booming report
He lifted his goggles and turned his head
I put down my pistol, I had nothing to dread
He tipped his Astrakhan and went to his task
Pith Helmets and carbides and a brand new hip flask
Then firing a grapple-line up my flue
He zipped up the chimney and bade me adieu
He sprang to his flying machine, and the steam engine wheezed
And the reindeer lept into the cold winter breeze;
His final words stuck in my head
“You’ve gotten your presents… Now go back to bed!”  Grin
Logged

What do we want? Decapitations!
Dr. Madd
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Maker of Monsters


« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2011, 03:10:51 pm »

I just realized i miscounted the Reindeer hooves. LOL
Logged
TVC15
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


Extremely hazardous...have some?


« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2011, 02:01:20 am »

Dr. Madd,
Permission to re-use your work?  And may I change the hoof count to 32?
Very well done as I am sure your dinners reflect your talents in other ways. Thanks for 'lighting up' my seasonal spirit.
Logged

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time...
The Corsair
Defective Inspector
Moderator
Zeppelin Admiral
*
New Zealand New Zealand


PixieOnTheMic
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2011, 05:48:30 am »

This, good sir, just made my Christmas.
Logged

I think I should also mention I had a dream about this game, only Bailey was a woman...

I assure you, that incident in Singapore was all a misunderstanding.
VampirateMace
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Mein Hexapod


« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2011, 06:40:48 am »

Steam Santa, now I must draw him. Of course I should finish the Santa WWII propaganda poster first.
Logged

Capt. Dirigible
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Shirts?.....I got plenty at 'ome.


« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2011, 01:25:43 pm »

Steam Santa, now I must draw him.


This isn't my handiwork (it may well have been done by someone on here)but I came across this rather splendid rendition of a Steam Santa online.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

I say, Joe it's jolly frightening out here.
Nonsense dear boy, you should be more like me.
But look at you! You're shaking all over!
Shaking? You silly goose! I'm just doing the Watusi
VampirateMace
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Mein Hexapod


« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2011, 07:36:07 am »

Not quite what I had in mind, but delightful none the less.
Logged
Dr. Madd
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Maker of Monsters


« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2012, 10:47:59 am »

Yes, you may, but do PM me the altered work.

Logged
Dr. Madd
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Maker of Monsters


« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2015, 04:44:22 am »

Merry Christmas from  the Madds!
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2015, 04:50:11 am »

This.
Logged

Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
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