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Author Topic: Manners  (Read 3169 times)
SPBrewer
Zeppelin Captain
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United States United States


Sky Pirate Brewer


« Reply #50 on: March 04, 2012, 11:58:27 am »

ok...so i took a young lady to dinner tonight and she was shocked to see me actually use the manners of a gentleman. I would open the car door for her, hold the doors, pull out her chair so she could sit...i even stood when she left to use the restroom...not maybe it's because i have a secret fear that my mother will appear and smack me with the wooden spoon if i don't show manners to ladies Wink but why is it that now and days women seem to be shocked when a man treats them with respect and manners?

   Because it so seldom happens.  My wife and I were eating in a nearby town and we watched as couple after couple entered the restaurant with the man opening the door and walking on in, as if he did not even know his wife/girl friend.  When one did hold the door open for his wife/girl friend, I said, "They must be from out of town too."   Wink
   I was so impressed by the behavior of Leopold in the movie "Kate and Leopold" that I loaned the movie to our daughter and asked her and her husband to watch it.  I suggested that they teach their son (who is about to turn 4) a foreign language, and some appreciation of the fine arts as well as manners.  I was always impressed with the knowledge of fine things that "James Bond" had.  Fine wine, fine foods, the arts, even women's perfumes.  I suggested that they start at this early age, and told them I wish I had had someone to teach me these things.
   It's the manners, behavior and appreciation for fine things in life that separates the Gentlemen from the men.
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The Sky Pirate
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Fairley B. Strange
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« Reply #51 on: March 04, 2012, 01:27:30 pm »

An amusing recent event:
I was remounting my auto-velocipede in the carpark of a local market, when a young lady attempted to enter the passenger door of the adjacent vehicle whilst holding coffee and cake in each hand.
The look of surprise upon her face when I reached over and opened the door was beaten only by the "'what just happened"' look on her beau - followed by him looking daggers at her for obviously flirting with some guy to get her door opened, because that's the only reason, right? Smiley

Oh, and Miss LaBryn - order what you wish. If a gentleman's choice is constrained by his wallet, he should be calculating that you might order the lobster, and have selected his own meal accordingly. Bon appetit.
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« Reply #52 on: March 04, 2012, 01:40:16 pm »

Reading through this thread makes me quite happy with the small town I live in!

When I had a flat tire, every single person who passed as I was changing it in the parking lot offered to help. Those who couldn't help directly with the job offered to send someone who could, or call someone. I was there for about half an hour changing it and there must have been at least fifteen people who passed by, each and every one offering aid.

I must be jaded, if I were by the side of he road with a flat and anyone other than triple A pulled up next to me, I would have locked the door and sent them away.  I suppose if you know or sort of know your would be helpers it is one thing, but it is 2012 and people are dangerous.  {I do not know how to change a flat tire.}
With that said, I would never ever even consider leaving the city.  Yes it gets on my nerves and it IS full of violence as well as ill bred, loud, rude and obnoxiously hideous savages, but i could also wax poetic for hours about the greatness of cities..........well at least my city.  I am afraid to do the aforementioned would lead me off topic and the board moderator would kick me off.  
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Kryss LaBryn
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Canada Canada


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« Reply #53 on: March 05, 2012, 01:29:08 am »

Reading through this thread makes me quite happy with the small town I live in!

When I had a flat tire, every single person who passed as I was changing it in the parking lot offered to help. Those who couldn't help directly with the job offered to send someone who could, or call someone. I was there for about half an hour changing it and there must have been at least fifteen people who passed by, each and every one offering aid.

I must be jaded, if I were by the side of he road with a flat and anyone other than triple A pulled up next to me, I would have locked the door and sent them away.  I suppose if you know or sort of know your would be helpers it is one thing, but it is 2012 and people are dangerous.  {I do not know how to change a flat tire.}

Had I been in the Lower Mainland I would have done exactly tha, no doubt; but up here in our small Interior town with a population of about 2,000 I don't even bother locking my doors when I go into town. In fact, I actually lost the house key for several years, but not having it wasn't an issue. I do lock my car doors in town though (when I leave the car, not when I'm driving) but I know others don't.

Changing a tire is very simple, and can be done with a minimum of effort. If you're strong enough to lift the tire out of the trunk then you're strong enough to change one, because so far as undoing the lug nuts goes, you just put the X-shaped wrench on the bolt, and then stand on the cross-piece with one foot (while holding onto the car) and bounce until it's loose. Loosen but don't remove them after you have the jack in place, but don't lift the car until you have them loosened or you'll just make the tire spin. Reverse the process for bolting on the new one, and tighten them up in a star-shaped pattern, not just one and the next one and the next one. Bounce hard to make sure they're tight and check them again in a few hundred kilometres. :-)


Quote
With that said, I would never ever even consider leaving the city.  Yes it gets on my nerves and it IS full of violence as well as ill bred, loud, rude and obnoxiously hideous savages, but i could also wax poetic for hours about the greatness of cities..........well at least my city.  I am afraid to do the aforementioned would lead me off topic and the board moderator would kick me off.  
What I miss are the cultural opportunities, my fabric stores, the ability to find people of similar interests, not wondering if a movie I'm interested will make it here or not, and the variety of restaurants, especially Indian and Japanese. I have to drive for 2 1/2 hours to get decent sushi from here!

What I like here: Being able to walk down the road in the pitch black and not have to worry about anything other than being eaten by a cougar. I like seeing the deer, rabbits, and foxes in the yard. I like being able to construct an 84' communications tower and about 150' of tunnels, and bunkers for playing Airsoft without having to worry about bylaws or such. I like knowing all my neighbours. They've been helping me keep the driveway ploughed, what with the ATV not working and all.

I like being able to send the kids out to play all afternoon without worrying about them, and knowing most of the kids and their parents in my son's class.

I don't like how hard it is to find fellow geeks or Steampunks, or to get the kind of fabrics I need, or that everyone knows each other, which has advantages and disadvantages. On the other hand, I can't stand city traffic (I could tell you stories...) or how bloody inconsiderate people are every moment of their lives, so far as I can tell.

In small towns, if you're in trouble and someone stops, it's pretty safe to figure that they're there to help, although yeah, in the city, while again most people are going too be fundamentally decent, accepting aid does unfortunately carry real risks.

Most impolite of them, I say. Wink
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"Be clean and courteous; raise your hat, And wipe your boots upon the mat: Such proofs of gentlemanly feeling Are to the ladies most appealing." The Professor's Manuscript - Dorothy L. Sayers
von Corax
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Canada Canada

Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax


« Reply #54 on: March 05, 2012, 06:34:45 am »

Reading through this thread makes me quite happy with the small town I live in!
[truncated for brevity]

Ms. LaBryn:

I actually have much the same positive experience in The Deforested City (pop. ~350,000), and even moreso around the University where I see students holding doors for each other at least as often as not.

On the other hand, the last winter I lived in The City at the Centre of Itself (the largest city in Canada, at pop. 2.6 million), on the evening of the first heavy snowfall I happened upon a Renault 5 which had missed a curve and slid into a snowbank; the chap seemed quite surprised (but grateful) when I turned around and went back to pull him out. (It was a busy street, and I suspect he'd been there a while.)
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« Reply #55 on: May 15, 2015, 04:19:05 am »

My apologies for reviving this thread, dear Gentlefolk.

I think that "proper manners" should be taught in the/at home from an early age and to continue through out the school years (maybe as a complete subject including exams in its own right?)

For one, we're not perfect parents, but we have taught our Son to say "please, thank you & no thank you". It a start, as he never asks for anything and quite happy with what he is given I hope.
 
The next step is to teach him to offer this seat to Ladies, disabled people & OAPs on public transport, while he stands, or to sit in my seat while I stand.

Manners work both ways.

As the sayings goes:- "manners maketh man" & "manners cost nothing"
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« Reply #56 on: May 15, 2015, 05:08:22 pm »

I often get surprised by people when they compliment my manners. My parents brought me up to have very good manners as they believe their very important so I assumed it was the norm until I went to junior school. My friends often get annoyed with me because I insist they put their phones away when we have meals etc. (don't get me started on earphones in when we're having conversations)

As for the whole argument about feminists disliking manners I'd like to add that that's not true at all. I love it when men are polite as do the majority of women but I don't like if men treat me like a delicate flower who cannot possibly do anything remotely strenuous. So if you're unsure about how a lady might perceive your manners just ask whether they would like you to pay the check/open the door first. Feminism (contrary to popular internet belief) is actually about the equality of the sexes so if anything I like to open doors and pay checks for my date. It must get terribly expensive for men to have to pay for every single date they go on.
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Xenos
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Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


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« Reply #57 on: May 15, 2015, 08:18:11 pm »

My apologies for reviving this thread, dear Gentlefolk.

I think that "proper manners" should be taught in the/at home from an early age and to continue through out the school years (maybe as a complete subject including exams in its own right?)

For one, we're not perfect parents, but we have taught our Son to say "please, thank you & no thank you". It a start, as he never asks for anything and quite happy with what he is given I hope.
 
The next step is to teach him to offer this seat to Ladies, disabled people & OAPs on public transport, while he stands, or to sit in my seat while I stand.

Manners work both ways.

As the sayings goes:- "manners maketh man" & "manners cost nothing"

Rather odd teaching my daughter to say "Please" when generally speaking, it's not a word I use.  Yes, I was raised to say "Please, thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, no thank you, etc.," but since becoming an adult, I find that the word "Please" itself is...  Well, I just don't use it.  Not to say I'm not polite about it, I usually am--I just don't use "please."
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« Reply #58 on: May 15, 2015, 08:52:13 pm »

But it's magic!
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walking stick
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« Reply #59 on: May 15, 2015, 09:16:14 pm »

I hold the door open for anyone who needs me to, regardless of their gender. I am female and I walk with a cane.  Good manners include practical courtesy as well as please and thank you.
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Xenos
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« Reply #60 on: May 15, 2015, 09:45:30 pm »

But it's magic!

So is "Would you kindly?"  I just don't use please.  Call it a stubborn holdover from my nonconformist/anarchist days. Wink
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selectedgrub
Guest
« Reply #61 on: May 18, 2015, 09:30:24 am »

Manners regarding here?
If someone compliments your creation you have to acknowledge and thank them for it.
No question. People will give up leaving them.
I do and have.

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Xenos
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« Reply #62 on: May 18, 2015, 09:05:48 pm »

Manners regarding here?
If someone compliments your creation you have to acknowledge and thank them for it.
No question. People will give up leaving them.
I do and have.



I have all but given up posting my creations.  Not because of anyone on here (my skill level for things Steampunk is...  Well, I suck), but because apparently since my views on things are...  Somewhat different, I'm a terribad artist, musician, and by extension, should kill myself.  *Nods*

Of course, when people go off like THAT on you, there's only one proper response, but I can't post it here, since this is the "GOOD" Manners thread!
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Edmund Charles Rutherford
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« Reply #63 on: May 19, 2015, 06:38:25 pm »

Personally, I'd like a large manner with many rooms, a large kitchen, and a mead hall...

(sorry, but I couldn't resist a slight and very bad pun)
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« Reply #64 on: May 20, 2015, 02:46:08 am »

Personally, I'd like a large manner with many rooms, a large kitchen, and a mead hall...

(sorry, but I couldn't resist a slight and very bad pun)

Sir, I must respectfully take issue with that.  There are no bad puns - but there are some bad pundits.
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Fairley B. Strange
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« Reply #65 on: May 20, 2015, 10:15:16 am »

Personally, I'd like a large manner with many rooms, a large kitchen, and a mead hall...

(sorry, but I couldn't resist a slight and very bad pun)

Sir, I must respectfully take issue with that.  There are no bad puns - but there are some bad pundits.

And they deserve to be punnished...
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Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #66 on: May 20, 2015, 01:10:44 pm »

walking stick, I too use a walking stick and today I received a very strange look and a "Thank you" from both a lady (perhaps a bit older than me) and a man (definitely older than me) because I opened a door (different doors) for them.

Manners cost nothing but they can reap some real rewards at times.
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walking stick
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« Reply #67 on: May 20, 2015, 02:11:45 pm »

Banfill agreed.  I'm pleased to see courtesy when it is shown and I do see good examples most weeks.  There isn't an age divide just the thoughtful and the thoughtless.  Just yesterday a schoolboy handed me the umbrella I had dropped on the bus.  It makes me feel hopeful for a more gracious future.
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Edmund Charles Rutherford
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While there's tea, there's hope -Sir Arthur Pinero


« Reply #68 on: May 21, 2015, 04:17:46 am »

Personally, I'd like a large manner with many rooms, a large kitchen, and a mead hall...

(sorry, but I couldn't resist a slight and very bad pun)

Sir, I must respectfully take issue with that.  There are no bad puns - but there are some bad pundits.

Very true, sir, and well-said! 

As to behavioral manners, I am here to see what others have to say, and hopefully learn something.  While I have been trained in most of the important parts of traditional manners (at least those common to the American Northeast) I could do with a bit more refinement.  My time in the military service has left me more rough around the edges than I'd like to be.
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Sir Henry
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« Reply #69 on: May 21, 2015, 12:55:18 pm »

Personally, I'd like a large manner with many rooms, a large kitchen, and a mead hall...
That sounds like a manor from Heaven. Roll Eyes


I'll get me coat...
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