The Steampunk Forum at Brass Goggles
October 22, 2017, 10:13:38 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News: Support BrassGoggles! Donate once or $3/mo.
 See details here.
 
   Home   Blog Help Rules Login Register  
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Manners  (Read 3166 times)
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #25 on: December 11, 2011, 07:29:42 pm »

...have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!"

Now I'm imagining the prospective beau slipping you tongue, gripping your butt firmly and coyly whispering, "I'm looking forward to it!"

Thank you SO MUCH for that PARTICULAR mental image. GAAH!

Now where'd I leave that mental floss...?

Having Takei fantasies about me, then?  Wink

Meh, no daughter of mine'd stand for that-my family don't share their significant others!

Naah, I'm not trying to 'ship anyone. It just occurred to me that if his sense of humour were anything like mine (documented at-least-third-generation congenital smartass) then you might find your intimidation tactic backfiring in a rather entertaining fashion. Tongue

That WOULD be my luck, the way it normally runs...

*Shudders*

I think I'll go get drunk now...

If you can't stand the heat...  Wink

Oh, don't misunderstand me-I'm fine as long as I'm pitcher...  Wink  Or, I could go with "It's only gay if your balls touch."

But as I said, women in my family are a VERY jealous lot-she'd not want to share.  And that's a whole DIFFERENT level of creepy... 

I really think it's time to get this back on topic.
Logged

WARNING:  THE ABOVE MAY BE POSTED UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF PAIN MEDICATION AND/OR ALCOHOL (read: Don't blame me for bad spelling or incoherence!)

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

Are you guys ready?  Okay, let's roll.
Augustus Longeye
Daedric Prince of Biscuits
Board Moderator
Rogue Ætherlord
**
United Kingdom United Kingdom


WWW
« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2011, 07:35:07 pm »

Please folks, this is getting more than a little odd, Manners! Wink
~Longeye~
Logged

Quote from: Sir Nikolas
I say you, chaps down there! Piss off, see? Haa ha! Love, Space Longeye <3
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2011, 08:08:25 pm »

Please folks, this is getting more than a little odd, Manners! Wink
~Longeye~

See, we've now given an PRIME example of what NOT to do!  That's all this was, it was just for showing what NOT to do...  Er...  YEAH.  Wink
Logged
Sir Henry
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Poking the i's and drinking the t's


« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2011, 08:40:15 pm »

No no, it takes a FAR sight more than opening a door to date my daughter.  Why, when we found out we were having a little girl, the very first thing I did was go out and by me a firearm with which to scare the pants off of the sodding tosspot she brings home (have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!").  Manners do not mean you're not going to try and take advantage, peer pressure, etc.
So do you have any plans for what to do if, like me, the first 'love of her life' that your little girl brings back is another girl? My Little Book of Victorian Manners seems to be missing that page. Wink
Logged

Cry "Have at!" and let's lick the togs of Waugh!
Arsed not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for tea.
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2011, 08:46:06 pm »

No no, it takes a FAR sight more than opening a door to date my daughter.  Why, when we found out we were having a little girl, the very first thing I did was go out and by me a firearm with which to scare the pants off of the sodding tosspot she brings home (have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!").  Manners do not mean you're not going to try and take advantage, peer pressure, etc.
So do you have any plans for what to do if, like me, the first 'love of her life' that your little girl brings back is another girl? My Little Book of Victorian Manners seems to be missing that page. Wink

Continute to love and support her as the father I am?  I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it, I suppose.
Logged
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #30 on: December 12, 2011, 07:38:00 am »

No no, it takes a FAR sight more than opening a door to date my daughter.  Why, when we found out we were having a little girl, the very first thing I did was go out and by me a firearm with which to scare the pants off of the sodding tosspot she brings home (have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!").  Manners do not mean you're not going to try and take advantage, peer pressure, etc.
So do you have any plans for what to do if, like me, the first 'love of her life' that your little girl brings back is another girl? My Little Book of Victorian Manners seems to be missing that page. Wink

Not sure what the Little Book of Victorian Manners would say, but the Little Book of Victorian Behavior would dictate one of two courses of action: (1) Panic, have her declared insane, and lock her in a madhouse (or the attic), while keeping the whole matter as hush-hush as possible for the family honor; or (2) Ignore it because it can't get her pregnant, she's constantly under supervision, and you don't believe the silly child anyway.

Are you implying this may be an area where we have to evolve a new set of manners, combining Victorian sensibilities about being polite with modern ones about being realistic?  If so I'm inclined to agree.
Logged

"An announcement that a poetry-reading is about to take place will empty a room quicker than a water-cannon." - Daniel C. Stove, The Oracles and Their Cessation

Remember, if it's the Warden Regulant asking, you did NOT see this.
Sir Henry
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Poking the i's and drinking the t's


« Reply #31 on: December 12, 2011, 08:42:27 am »

Not sure what the Little Book of Victorian Manners would say, but the Little Book of Victorian Behavior would dictate one of two courses of action: (1) Panic, have her declared insane, and lock her in a madhouse (or the attic), while keeping the whole matter as hush-hush as possible for the family honor; or (2) Ignore it because it can't get her pregnant, she's constantly under supervision, and you don't believe the silly child anyway.

Are you implying this may be an area where we have to evolve a new set of manners, combining Victorian sensibilities about being polite with modern ones about being realistic?  If so I'm inclined to agree.
The Little Book of Victorian Behavior is not part of my library, and with advice like that I doubt that it will ever be. As for its solutions, 1) is out of the question insofar as the other book in my library has the words 'Don't Panic' in large letters on the cover and 2) directly contradicts my pledge to be a caring, supportive father and breaking that pledge would break my promise not to break my word ( a logical nightmare that no moral being should have to parse).

Which leaves us with a third option; the development of your suggested new set of manners that respects others without reference to deference and purged of prejudice. If we can rewrite history, this should be no problem.
Logged
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #32 on: December 12, 2011, 08:51:25 am »

From what I can tell rewriting history is pretty much the easy part...happens every time there is a new set of victors...   Wink
Logged
von Corax
Squire of the Lambda Calculus
Board Moderator
Immortal
**
Canada Canada

Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax


« Reply #33 on: December 13, 2011, 08:31:23 am »

...have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!"

Now I'm imagining the prospective beau slipping you tongue, gripping your butt firmly and coyly whispering, "I'm looking forward to it!"

Thank you SO MUCH for that PARTICULAR mental image. GAAH!

Now where'd I leave that mental floss...?

Having Takei fantasies about me, then?  Wink

Meh, no daughter of mine'd stand for that-my family don't share their significant others!

Naah, I'm not trying to 'ship anyone. It just occurred to me that if his sense of humour were anything like mine (documented at-least-third-generation congenital smartass) then you might find your intimidation tactic backfiring in a rather entertaining fashion. Tongue

That WOULD be my luck, the way it normally runs...

*Shudders*

I think I'll go get drunk now...

Oh, don't misunderstand me-I'm fine as long as I'm pitcher...  Wink  Or, I could go with "It's only gay if your balls touch."

[snip]

I really think it's time to get this back on topic.

But then you run the risk of both of you getting sucked into an involuntary game of Spartan Gay Chicken, which can't possibly end well, so that would just be... um... unmannerly.

Segué complete.

PS: If you follow those links, be sure to read the rollover text.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2011, 08:33:04 am by von Corax » Logged

By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
By the Beans of Life do my thoughts acquire speed
My hands acquire a shaking
The shaking becomes a warning
By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
The Leverkusen Institute of Paleocybernetics is 5838 km from Reading
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #34 on: December 15, 2011, 12:40:10 am »

...have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!"

Now I'm imagining the prospective beau slipping you tongue, gripping your butt firmly and coyly whispering, "I'm looking forward to it!"

Thank you SO MUCH for that PARTICULAR mental image. GAAH!

Now where'd I leave that mental floss...?

Having Takei fantasies about me, then?  Wink

Meh, no daughter of mine'd stand for that-my family don't share their significant others!

Naah, I'm not trying to 'ship anyone. It just occurred to me that if his sense of humour were anything like mine (documented at-least-third-generation congenital smartass) then you might find your intimidation tactic backfiring in a rather entertaining fashion. Tongue

That WOULD be my luck, the way it normally runs...

*Shudders*

I think I'll go get drunk now...

Oh, don't misunderstand me-I'm fine as long as I'm pitcher...  Wink  Or, I could go with "It's only gay if your balls touch."

[snip]

I really think it's time to get this back on topic.

But then you run the risk of both of you getting sucked into an involuntary game of Spartan Gay Chicken, which can't possibly end well, so that would just be... um... unmannerly.

Segué complete.

PS: If you follow those links, be sure to read the rollover text.


No, no...  I think I'm going to take the high road and bow out of this conversation, save my dignaty while it's still somewhat intact, and conceed the point, match, and game.
Logged
Guinevere Meander
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


« Reply #35 on: December 16, 2011, 04:35:31 am »

ok...so i took a young lady to dinner tonight and she was shocked to see me actually use the manners of a gentleman. I would open the car door for her, hold the doors, pull out her chair so she could sit...i even stood when she left to use the restroom...not maybe it's because i have a secret fear that my mother will appear and smack me with the wooden spoon if i don't show manners to ladies Wink but why is it that now and days women seem to be shocked when a man treats them with respect and manners?

Would You PLEASE take me out for a date???
Pretty please?
OMG... my Dad spoiled me rotten with manners and I So understand your frustration, just reverse, as I'm the female end of having been taught all of this and expecting the manners and NOT getting them!! GRUMBLEGRUMBLE
Logged

"...it was here just a minute ago!"  Motto of the lovely Lady Guinevere Meander
Prof. Alistair Crayborne
Gunner
**
United States United States


« Reply #36 on: December 16, 2011, 06:05:02 pm »

I was raised to use proper manners, so to me it is a way of life. I open the door for anyone, even guys, but especially for the women.

...  Then she realized I was doing those things not because I thought she was inferior, but because I KNEW she was SUPERIOR to me, and I wanted to make her life that much easier...

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I treat women well not because I feel I am superior, but because they deserve respect much more than douches like us men.

On the other hand, this has gotten me into a little bit a sticky situation. There is a girl who met me and pretty much immediately developed a crush on me.  I treated her like I treat everyone else, with the politeness which becomes a gentleman. Unfortunately, that contrasted so much with her home life that she interpreted it as me having an interest in her. So... yeah... Tongue I had a hard time getting her to understand that I wasn't treating her special because I had a romantic interest! I will still continue to be polite, of course, because I believe it is good to do so, but it really surprised me how that was interpreted.

(I admit I was really quite flattered that anyone would actually fall for me as hard as she did...  Shocked)
Logged

Prof. Alistair Crayborne
Vagabond GentleMan
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Clockwork Sepia


WWW
« Reply #37 on: December 17, 2011, 07:01:17 am »


...  Then she realized I was doing those things not because I thought she was inferior, but because I KNEW she was SUPERIOR to me, and I wanted to make her life that much easier...

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I treat women well not because I feel I am superior, but because they deserve respect much more than douches like us men.

Ummmm...Call me a crazy progressive liberal anarchist libertarian weirdo...
But how bout Men and Women are...equals.
Yeah, that's it.

Self-hating Manhood or at least self-depreciating Masculinity is an interesting approach to the Post-Feminist paradigm, but it's nothing if not counter-productive.  

I'm about as interested at interacting with a female who appreciates this approach as I am interested in interacting with the stereotypical chauvinist pig.

"Women are superior to us douchebag men"
"B****es ain't sh*t but tricks and ho's"

...neither promote egalitarian progress.

I reckon I'll maintain my self-respect as a Man whilst at the same time maintaining my respect for Women.
Just a personal opinion, though.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2011, 08:07:05 am by Vagabond GentleMan » Logged

Well that wolf has a dimber bonebox, and he'll flash it all milky and red.  But you won't see our Red Jack's spit, nug, cuz he's pinked ya, and yer dead.
SteampunkObserver
Gunner
**
United States United States


« Reply #38 on: December 17, 2011, 08:01:19 am »


Right, well...  The FIRST thing that popped in my head (and it may just be the alcohol speaking, mind) was "Obvious Troll is Obvious."

And against my drunken better judgement (I normally go with a strict DNFT approach), I am going to assume you are being quite serious, with no trolling intended, and reply.

No no, it takes a FAR sight more than opening a door to date my daughter.  Why, when we found out we were having a little girl, the very first thing I did was go out and by me a firearm with which to scare the pants off of the sodding tosspot she brings home (have have since ammended my approach-I fully plan to kiss him full on the mouth, hug him real tight, and tell him, "Look son, I know you're going to be kissing and cuddling on my little girl tonight, but I just want you to know-whatever you do to her, I'm'a do to you!").  Manners do not mean you're not going to try and take advantage, peer pressure, etc.

As for the rest of it, I *do* think we are a small little group, holding out against the barbarism that modern society has become.  And what's wrong with that?  No, we're not "special."  This I know.  There are plenty of OTHER small groups, doing the same thing, that have nothing to do with steampunk (not to say that some of them are not steampunk, just saying that that manners, being a gent'n'all that don't mean you ARE steampunk).

Just as you say there's no need to belittle them (which I didn't see, to be honest), there's no need for you to talk down to us for what WE do.

Wishing He'd Not Drank That Last 5th...
~X. Markus

PS:  Aren't you the "Rules for Being Steampunk" guy?

X. Markus,

I am not a troll. I am only an observer, interested in the Steampunk community.

As I tried to make clear, I am not trying to belittle your manners. I think they are wonderful, and agree with most of the ideas of what is proper that have been expressed in this thread thus far. The only point of disagreement here is the idea that it is a hold-out against "the barbarism that modern society has become." You may be the righteous knights, but there are no dragons in need of slaying. Modern society may be a little impolitic in some respects, but compared to how many other civilizations have treated their women throughout time (or indeed, their men!), the common man today is a good catch.

V/r,

~SO
Logged
von Corax
Squire of the Lambda Calculus
Board Moderator
Immortal
**
Canada Canada

Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax


« Reply #39 on: December 17, 2011, 09:11:54 am »


...  Then she realized I was doing those things not because I thought she was inferior, but because I KNEW she was SUPERIOR to me, and I wanted to make her life that much easier...

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I treat women well not because I feel I am superior, but because they deserve respect much more than douches like us men.

Ummmm...Call me a crazy progressive liberal anarchist libertarian weirdo...
[...]
Self-hating Manhood or at least self-depreciating Masculinity is an interesting approach to the Post-Feminist paradigm, but it's nothing if not counter-productive.  
Alright, VG, you're a crazy progressive liberal anarchist libertarian weirdo, but you're not the only one to curl his nostrils at the faint miasma of political-correctivist mysandric angst rising from a few of these posts.

I'm about as interested at interacting with a female who appreciates this approach as I am interested in interacting with the stereotypical chauvinist pig.
When you get right down to it, a chauvanist pig is a chauvanist pig; dangly-bits or no, they're all equally offensive.
Logged
Atterton
Time Traveler
****

Only The Shadow knows


« Reply #40 on: December 17, 2011, 01:46:34 pm »

I´m going to have to agree with our vagabond friend here. Also being on a pedestal is rather restrictive.
Logged

Resurrectionist and freelance surgeon.
Sir Henry
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Poking the i's and drinking the t's


« Reply #41 on: December 17, 2011, 01:49:54 pm »

Generally, if I'm to look up to women I prefer them in an airship rather than on a pedestal.  Smiley
Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #42 on: December 17, 2011, 02:12:09 pm »

Well, having arrived late I'm almost confused how a thread on 'manners' turns to gay-chicken...

I suppose the only advice I can offer is the old truth:

    'Tis better to give than to receive.

Sage words whether one is distributing holiday goodwill to the less fortunate, or making domestic arrangements with your new cellmate....  Grin
Logged

Choose a code to live by, die by it if you have to.
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #43 on: December 17, 2011, 06:41:16 pm »


...  Then she realized I was doing those things not because I thought she was inferior, but because I KNEW she was SUPERIOR to me, and I wanted to make her life that much easier...

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I treat women well not because I feel I am superior, but because they deserve respect much more than douches like us men.

Ummmm...Call me a crazy progressive liberal anarchist libertarian weirdo...
But how bout Men and Women are...equals.
Yeah, that's it.

Self-hating Manhood or at least self-depreciating Masculinity is an interesting approach to the Post-Feminist paradigm, but it's nothing if not counter-productive.  

I'm about as interested at interacting with a female who appreciates this approach as I am interested in interacting with the stereotypical chauvinist pig.

"Women are superior to us douchebag men"
"B****es ain't sh*t but tricks and ho's"

...neither promote egalitarian progress.

I reckon I'll maintain my self-respect as a Man whilst at the same time maintaining my respect for Women.
Just a personal opinion, though.


I don't hate my manhood, nor do I depreciate it in any manner.  I am quite secure in myself as a man.  Just because I see the woman I'm with as better than me does not mean I am degrading men.

Let me put it to you this way:  You go out with a girl, you pay for her dinner, you hold her door, you do all the things that a gent would do.

Now, go out with a guy.  Unless you do the same thing for him, I consider your argument null and void-because from your own lips, men and women are equal. 

Now, to address that:  Yes, I understand that men and women are equal socially, and SHOULD be equal in the work force (that's still a long way off).  That does not mean that I'm going to treat my guy friends the same way I do my lady friends, or vice versa.  I'm not going to call my lady friends the same names I call my guy friends.  I'm not going to pal around with them the same way I do my guy friends (that point is mostly because I'm married, and well...  Yeah). 

It is not self-deprreciation/loathing to treat the woman you care about better than yourself (or ANYone else, for that matter).

I doubt very seriously that's as clear as I would like it to be-my main point, which may have gotten lost in my slightly miffed response is simply thus:

Men and Women ARE equal, but MY woman is better than ANYone else.  And I will treat her as such.  PERIOD.  No, it is not chavanistic, nor is it self-loathing or whatever.  It's just the way it is.  I love her, and therefore, will do anything in my power to make her life easier.

If that offends you, I make no apology, for as you said, "Just my opinion."

Logged
Vagabond GentleMan
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Clockwork Sepia


WWW
« Reply #44 on: December 18, 2011, 05:59:02 am »

Xenos:

Your ultimate premise doesn't offend me at all.  If you as an individual believe your lady as an individual is above you and should be treated thus, I can't hate that.  That IS your personal opinion, and you're entitled to it, and as its practice seems to work well for you and yours, so much the better.

I feel I was fairly clear in my post regarding that I WASN'T speaking of individuals, but of broad generalizations, which is what I sensed (perhaps inaccurately) from the post I quoted from you, but CERTAINLY from the second post I quoted.

As to your argument vis a vis who pays for what on a date implying inequality, I again beg to differ.
Due to various preferences, backgrounds, expectations, etc. I certainly treat my New Yorker friends differently from my Oregonian friends, differently from my Virginian friends, and so forth.  Not because they are by their natures unequal, as that would be silly.  I most assuredly CAN treat X group of people differently from Y group of people without treating them unequally.

Equality is easily more complex and ambiguous than: "Do the exact same tit-for-tat for person A as you would for person B every time".


Logged
Xenos
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Sudan Sudan


Capt of the "AO Victoria," Cdr of the Aeronauts!


WWW
« Reply #45 on: December 18, 2011, 06:20:02 am »

Xenos:

Your ultimate premise doesn't offend me at all.  If you as an individual believe your lady as an individual is above you and should be treated thus, I can't hate that.  That IS your personal opinion, and you're entitled to it, and as its practice seems to work well for you and yours, so much the better.

I feel I was fairly clear in my post regarding that I WASN'T speaking of individuals, but of broad generalizations, which is what I sensed (perhaps inaccurately) from the post I quoted from you, but CERTAINLY from the second post I quoted.

As to your argument vis a vis who pays for what on a date implying inequality, I again beg to differ.
Due to various preferences, backgrounds, expectations, etc. I certainly treat my New Yorker friends differently from my Oregonian friends, differently from my Virginian friends, and so forth.  Not because they are by their natures unequal, as that would be silly.  I most assuredly CAN treat X group of people differently from Y group of people without treating them unequally.

Equality is easily more complex and ambiguous than: "Do the exact same tit-for-tat for person A as you would for person B every time".




This is why I should probably not post drunk.  See, I assumed you were speaking to me directly, as you had quoted me etc...  And I therefore assumed that you had issue with me treating my significant other in the manner I do.  Ergo, I snapped into defence mode, you know, "SOMEONE DISAGREES ON THE INETERNETZ!!!"

My mistake.

As to the rest of it, eh, it seemed like the thing to type at the time, dinnit?  I still hold to it, though.  As the main things I do to treat a lady "Better than," or "More equal than," is pay for dinner, hold her door, stand when she leaves the table, etc, I feel that in order for your argument to be valid, you should do the same for both sexes, or NOT do the same for both sexes.  Otherwise, I fail to see how my doing those for my (well now we're married, but you get my drift) girlfriend is an issue.  If I can make HER life easier and better, why should I not?  Then again, this gets into philosophical mumbojumbo that I really should be sober to tackle.

Then again, I've always been an "Across the Board" kinda guy.  It gets...  well, it boarders on lunacy at times, but then again, according to the STATE...  Wink

And I AM sorry if I came off as a bit cross, I WAS.  I had assumed attack, and therefore, took the defensive.  I hate text based communications, there's no bodylanguage or emotions in it.

So, to sum up-I understand that equality is more than doing the same thing for everyone-and that's all well and good.  But when yo uget right down to brass tacks, in THIS context, either you do or you don't.  In the ABSTRACT, yes, my mentality is my wife is better than me.  In PRACTICE, the things I do for her in no way put her above me, I do them because I WANT to make her life easier.  I WANT her to not have do these things, BECAUSE in MY MIND, she is better than me.  Ergo, what I'm doing does not make her better than me, and therefore, you doing one or the other for one or the other group would show some sort of bias.

Or something like that...  I really should stop coming on her buzzed.

Then again, I'd hardly ever be here, if I did!
Logged
Indigo Spire
Officer
***
United States United States


Cheers Darlings!!!!!!


« Reply #46 on: March 04, 2012, 12:37:52 am »

Can we take this a step further and say that men and women these days lack manners.  How often have you said, "excuse me" to someone as you are trying to get by or if you pass in front of them...and that person looks at you like you have five heads.  
How about the people that push onto an elevator before allowing those that are already on to exit.  Or my favorite the people who stuff as much food as physically possible into their face THEN try to talk.  I also enjoy people who belch, dig in their nose in public or force their lack of hygiene upon the general public.

It is refreshing to see a gentleman with well honed manners, but speaking for my own sex.......we are often worse than men.  It has nothing to do with feminism, liberation of the oppressed or equality.....it has to do with pride, respect and some good ol' home schoolin'.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2012, 01:45:39 pm by Indigo Spire » Logged
Indigo Spire
Officer
***
United States United States


Cheers Darlings!!!!!!


« Reply #47 on: March 04, 2012, 12:42:40 am »

see me actually use the manners of a gentleman. I would open the car door for her, hold the doors, pull out her chair so she could sit...i even stood when she left to use the restroom...

You sound like a dream, if you hold my coat so that I may put it on or hail a cab for me and close the door after I get in - I would be yours forever.  Wink
« Last Edit: March 04, 2012, 01:46:32 pm by Indigo Spire » Logged
Indigo Spire
Officer
***
United States United States


Cheers Darlings!!!!!!


« Reply #48 on: March 04, 2012, 12:45:16 am »

Xenos:

As to your argument vis a vis who pays for what on a date implying inequality, I again beg to differ.
Due to various preferences, backgrounds, expectations, etc. I certainly treat my New Yorker friends differently from my Oregonian friends, differently from my Virginian friends, and so forth.  Not because they are by their natures unequal, as that would be silly.  I most assuredly CAN treat X group of people differently from Y group of people without treating them unequally.


See......this is why I am only friends with group X!

Logged
Kryss LaBryn
Snr. Officer
****
Canada Canada


aka Lady Amelia Cottington


« Reply #49 on: March 04, 2012, 07:42:15 am »

Reading through this thread makes me quite happy with the small town I live in!

Pretty much everyone holds doors open for everyone else, for example. If you get there first you hold it open for the people behind you. The end. If you're passing by and not going to use the door but see someone with their hands full headed for it you take the thirty seconds to hold it open for them.

Where I live that is just the way things are done, and it seems those who are new to the area pick up on it pretty quickly, because there are a lot of people who moved here from the city in the last ten years or so, but I can count the number of times someone didn't hold a door for me on the fingers of one hand, and it's been almost a decade for us too. And I see it happening for everyone around me.

When I had a flat tire, every single person who passed as I was changing it in the parking lot offered to help. Those who couldn't help directly with the job offered to send someone who could, or call someone. I was there for about half an hour changing it and there must have been at least fifteen people who passed by, each and every one offering aid.

Upon another occasion I was picking up dinner in town with my little boy, then too young to walk. With a great deal of difficulty I managed to hold him in one arm and my purse, the large paper bag and a full plastic bag in the other, but the door utterly defeated me. Before I had more than a moment to register my difficulty, though, a patron had leaped up and not only held the door for me, but also carried my bags to the car for me and held them while I strapped the baby in.

I contrast that with my time in the city, where in the hour and a half it took me, visibly pregnant and in a dress, to remove part of my roof rack so I could get the hood open and refuel my pickup, only one person actually stopped and helped me. This is with me climbing not only into the back of the truck, but also onto the hood and even the roof, again, in a long sundress and sandals, with a protruding, pregnant belly, at a very busy gas station. When I spilled my socket set when a hinge broke as I lifted it, not one person stopped to help me pick them up, although one "gentleman" did kindly point out one I'd missed as he passed by. Not even the attendants came to see if I needed help. I thought perhaps that there was only one person in the store and they couldn't leave, but I certainly would have appreciated them at least coming to the door and saying that they couldn't come over, but was there anything else they could do? Could they call someone or something?

By the time I finally got it off (with the help of a gentleman from Terasen Gas, who also pulled in to refuel his natural gas vehicle; it only took us a couple of minutes to accomplish what I had been unable to do by myself in an hour and a half) I was so absolutely livid that if I had had any other option for refueling elsewhere I would have driven off without paying. The $20 of fuel would have been the least they could do for me, I reasoned.

However, I am an honest person and I did go in and pay. Whereupon I discovered that there were multiple employees inside. "What were you trying to do?" they asked. I explained that my hood had hung up on the front of the two-piece rack so I couldn't get to the fuelling attachment. "Oh!" they replied. "Because you looked like you needed help and we would have come out but we didn't know what you were trying to do."

I just. No words.
.
.
.

I let people in when I am driving. If I am still making up my mind when I get to the counter I let the next person go ahead. I hold doors, and I expect my children to do the same (and they usually do). "Please" and "thank you" are required, and my son knows to say things like "This is a very interesting food but it isn't really to my taste" instead of "This is yucky!" I see it less as having good manners and more as having a basic level of common courtesy and consideration for my fellow human beings.

A final note on meals in restaurants: I was taught that as a woman, if I am out on a date with someone I should always find out what he is going to have, and make sure that whatever I order is priced no higher. If he orders the steak and lobster then it's fair game for me, but if all he gets is a burger then I get a less expensive entree myself, as (or so I was taught) his choice is most likely a reflection of his budget, and ordering something expensive that may be out of his price range after he has indicated a much cheaper choice is inconsiderate.

I suppose it all comes down to consideration. Consideration, and training/exposure. In a town where everyone holds open doors, newcomers will also quickly learn to hold them. I teach my children to hold them, especially if someone is burdened or otherwise incapacitated in some way. And I will keep up the practice when we move to the city, whether everyone else does it or not. It's a small thing, but it makes people's lives that tiny bit easier. And I don't think I'd much like the kind of person I would be if I were to simply allow the door to crash to behind me in someone's face.
Logged

"Be clean and courteous; raise your hat, And wipe your boots upon the mat: Such proofs of gentlemanly feeling Are to the ladies most appealing." The Professor's Manuscript - Dorothy L. Sayers
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 1.242 seconds with 16 queries.