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Author Topic: Communal writing project 3 - Lost Souls of the Asylum  (Read 18252 times)
Arkwright
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« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2011, 11:32:06 am »

Just a quick note.

People have asked about writing style (first person narrative etc...).

All kinds are acceptable. The link passages are separate from the stories themselves and don't have to be in the same style.

The only caution is that the protagonist must die either at the end of, or shortly after the end of the story. So if you are writing first person, there has to be some mechanism for this that avoids the infamaous "El Passo" scenareo.

TTFN

Arkwright
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MWBailey
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"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #26 on: September 16, 2011, 02:43:43 pm »

For the benefit of those who are not familiar wih the term, what is the "El Passo Scenario?"
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Duellist
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« Reply #27 on: September 16, 2011, 03:03:03 pm »

For the benefit of those who are not familiar wih the term, what is the "El Passo Scenario?"


As far as I can tell from Google, there was a Country and Western song about El Paso where the protagonist of the song seems to die, but it wasn't until a later song covering the same events from another character's perspective (who watched him die) that the theory was confirmed.

That or he is moaning about pre-packaged Mexican food kits...
« Last Edit: September 16, 2011, 03:04:36 pm by Duellist » Logged

Some are born strange, some attain strangeness, and some have strangeness thrust upon them.
Arkwright
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« Reply #28 on: September 16, 2011, 03:11:45 pm »

Quote
I see the white puff of smoke from the rifle.
I feel the bullet go deep in my chest.

From out of nowhere Felina has found me,
Kissing my cheek as she kneels by my side.
Cradled by two loving arms that I'll die for,
One little kiss and Felina, good-bye.

The song is in the past tense and first person - but the protagonist dies at the end. So exactly who is singing the song?

I mean, famous last words are one thing, but singing away for five minutes is taking it a little too far...

Arkwright
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MWBailey
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"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2011, 03:14:22 pm »

Well, a sound forehead slap for me, then. Thanks, Arkwright and Duellist.

(And I'm a bloody Texan, too!  Cheesy)
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WickedPenguin
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Exploring "What if?" stories in music and words.


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« Reply #30 on: September 16, 2011, 04:02:24 pm »

The song is in the past tense and first person - but the protagonist dies at the end. So exactly who is singing the song?

I mean, famous last words are one thing, but singing away for five minutes is taking it a little too far...

Arkwright

Back in the day - when I was around 15 - I wrote a sci-fi short story about a paleontologist who finds a velociraptor skeleton, with a human skull in its jaws. The scientific world demands an explanation. In this world, they have time travel and he travels back to the physical point and the estimated time. As he's making studies, the time machine is attacked by a herd of raptors. The machine's crew aborts and returns to the future. Our protagonist, however, is chased into a small cave. The raptors gather outside, and are working as a team to dig him out.

Knowing now that the skull he found in the future is actually his own, he begins reciting his story into a tape recorder. However, he signs off a while before he's actually killed. I mean, the last thing I'd be doing if a bunch of eight foot beasts was trying to kill me is calmly chat with my tape recorder. It's called self-preservation! Smiley

Could you imagine a zombie story from first person?

I feel them rending my flesh and cracking my skull open with their teeth and their filthy hands. Ah, they're gnawing on my brain now. Oh, that tickles! Oh oh! Hey, I can't remember my dad... there go those piano lessons... Why can't I blarghhhh ecccckk alll oooo.
And then I said, "Moooooooooaaaaaaannnnnn."

The End.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2011, 04:07:29 pm by WickedPenguin » Logged

Mortim
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Mortim
« Reply #31 on: September 16, 2011, 04:46:30 pm »

I see the white puff of smoke from the rifle.
I feel the bullet go deep in my chest.

From out of nowhere Felina has found me,
Kissing my cheek as she kneels by my side.
Cradled by two loving arms that I'll die for,
One little kiss and Felina, good-bye.

Maybe it's because I haven't read the rest of the text, or perhaps it's the effect of being sat at a desk all day with no readily available caffeine, but to me this excerpt seemed to be written both either in the past tense, or the present progressive.

In my mind, the line "I see the white puff of smoke from the rifle" can be read as both a past account and as a continuous current commentary. This alters the perspective of the last line to denote a kiss that is yet to come, but is surely to be the protagonists last.

Confusing end of the day thoughts aside, I would need to carefully construct the end of the plot synopsis I sent through to you Arkwright. My first thought is that the ending notes I mentioned would be written up as a posthumous report on the doctors time in the Asylum. I'll revisit it tonight to see if there's a clearer cut way of avoiding any blunders.
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MWBailey
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"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #32 on: September 16, 2011, 06:26:04 pm »

El Paso is just the tip of a very long and tall cultural iceberg in which that type of ending is common (Corridos, to be exact; Murder Ballads, for the anglo-celtic version of same). Both are still alive and well today in at least North American and Hispanic popular culture et al; look up 'Narcocorridos,' for example. Not every protagonist dies, but it's enough of a repeating pattern that it can usually be reliably predicted (along with several other constants).

Although they have their rightful place in history as well as pop culture, however, I must agree that the Autobio-After-Death scenario is almost as overused as all those (shudder) Dark and Stormy Nights. Tongue
 
« Last Edit: September 16, 2011, 06:38:04 pm by MWBailey » Logged
The Governess
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« Reply #33 on: September 16, 2011, 07:37:36 pm »

I'm happy to help out in any way I can- proofreading, anything else...

Also happy to act as a sounding board for any writers if required (you may also be interested in the steampunk writing group we have set up on facebook for mutual support, too- can't post the link at the moment but will do if people are interested...)
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Mortim
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Mortim
« Reply #34 on: September 16, 2011, 08:30:54 pm »

Also happy to act as a sounding board for any writers if required (you may also be interested in the steampunk writing group we have set up on facebook for mutual support, too- can't post the link at the moment but will do if people are interested...)

Consider me interested.

Since I was forced back onto Facebook at gunpoint, I've been looking for something to make it all worthwhile.
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Lady Chrystal
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« Reply #35 on: September 16, 2011, 09:11:48 pm »

Here's the link:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/groups/147190255349294/

Ask to join or PM one of us with your name on FB and we'll add you.
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Kathy_Davidson
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« Reply #36 on: September 16, 2011, 09:27:55 pm »

Request sent Smiley
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neon_suntan
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« Reply #37 on: September 16, 2011, 11:07:01 pm »


I shall rack my brains

*sound of rattling loose gears and bent springs*
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Arkwright
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« Reply #38 on: September 17, 2011, 04:50:55 pm »

Hello there!

It has been hectic - pms flying all over the place. Titles are being snapped up and I have tried to make sure that everyone is satisfied. Not an easy task - I can tell you!

The current list looks like this:

Confirmed -

Fire and Ice - Outflyer Calliope
When the moon is dark - Wicked Penguin
Where there is smoke - Corsair
The Thickness of a shadow - Mortim
The Box - Septimus Grey
A life worth living - Captain Ella Thorne
The Collector - lady Chrystal
The Eye of the Believer - Duellist

In discussion -

One piece at a time - Steamblast Mary
The death of Dr Grace - MWBailey

Its good to see some new names comming forward. For those of you who are thinking about contributing, there are only a few titles left.

As I said before we have one contributer who is looking to strike out on their own. It might be that one or two other past contributers or potential contributers would be best served clubbing together to produce something a little different? Just a thought and not looking at anyone in particular...

TTFN

Arkwright
 
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The Governess
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« Reply #39 on: September 18, 2011, 12:52:09 pm »

Just to make you all aware, Facebook pages are now up and running for
The Last Line, which publishes the books: https://www.facebook.com/TheLastLine
The first volume, Tales from the Asylum: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tales-from-the-Asylum-A-Steampunk-Compilation/285072448185062?sk=wall
And the second volume, Beyond the Asylum: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beyond-the-Asylum-A-steampunk-compilation/248374488537437?sk=wall

Please like them all, share them far and wide, share your photos, etc!  If anyone has ideas for promotional stuff for any of the books, please let us know... and bear in mind that anything we can do on these books will build momentum for the next volume when it is released...
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Mimsy Beaucoup
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« Reply #40 on: September 18, 2011, 01:17:53 pm »

Sent you a synopsis now Smiley For Royston Caves, I look forward to hearing from you xx
« Last Edit: September 18, 2011, 01:42:54 pm by Mimsy Beaucoup » Logged

neon_suntan
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« Reply #41 on: September 18, 2011, 06:38:24 pm »

As I said before we have one contributer who is looking to strike out on their own. It might be that one or two other past contributers or potential contributers would be best served clubbing together to produce something a little different? Just a thought and not looking at anyone in particular...

I realise that all the titles will probably have gone now...

However

Just to gauge interest how many here are genuinely interested in "clubbing together to produce something a little different"?
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MWBailey
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"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #42 on: September 18, 2011, 09:52:15 pm »

Just to make you all aware, Facebook pages are now up and running for
The Last Line, which publishes the books: https://www.facebook.com/TheLastLine
The first volume, Tales from the Asylum: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tales-from-the-Asylum-A-Steampunk-Compilation/285072448185062?sk=wall
And the second volume, Beyond the Asylum: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beyond-the-Asylum-A-steampunk-compilation/248374488537437?sk=wall

Did so this AM, first time on FB in a while.

Please like them all, share them far and wide, share your photos, etc!  If anyone has ideas for promotional stuff for any of the books, please let us know... and bear in mind that anything we can do on these books will build momentum for the next volume when it is released...
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DrVesuvius
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« Reply #43 on: September 20, 2011, 01:00:21 am »

I'm very, very keen to participate, and have a synopsis for "The Jungle of the Mind" ready to go, but apparently I don't have permission to send PMs on this board (possibly because I'm a brand, shiny new user not yet promoted to "Deck Hand").

Will endeavour to persevere.
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Kathy_Davidson
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« Reply #44 on: September 20, 2011, 08:04:31 am »

If I recall, you need 2 hours of time on your counter before you are able to send PM. Have a flick through the different threads, many interesting topics, till it pops up.
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DrVesuvius
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« Reply #45 on: September 21, 2011, 07:39:50 pm »

That's what I was doing the other night, when the forum went spdoinkle and disappeared up its own steam vents.

Conspiracy?  You decide.  Grin
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psn1der
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« Reply #46 on: September 22, 2011, 04:17:55 am »

I'd be happy to proofread as well.  Never been the writing sort, but once it's done I'm good at the proofing.

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NotHarvard
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« Reply #47 on: September 22, 2011, 08:02:30 am »

Just wondering - how realistic do things have to be? You know, is it that type of steampunk that is vaguely plausible or the type that uses 'aether' and other such things that are basically magic dressed up in cool looking cogs and levers?
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Kathy_Davidson
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« Reply #48 on: September 22, 2011, 08:06:11 am »

Best to Let Arkwright answer that one.

I know the previous volumes were all inclusive. My main charecter was an Alien disguised as a noble. But the format is a little different this year.
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The Corsair
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PixieOnTheMic
« Reply #49 on: September 22, 2011, 09:05:07 am »

Just wondering - how realistic do things have to be? You know, is it that type of steampunk that is vaguely plausible or the type that uses 'aether' and other such things that are basically magic dressed up in cool looking cogs and levers?

Seeing as all the stories are in the same universe I'm guessing realism is the way to go as things that are convenient plot devices (like Aether) can cause enormous plot holes in other people's stories...

Also, I see what you did there Wink
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I think I should also mention I had a dream about this game, only Bailey was a woman...

I assure you, that incident in Singapore was all a misunderstanding.
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