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Author Topic: How to stop being single!  (Read 19801 times)
blacklines
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« Reply #100 on: May 22, 2009, 02:55:05 pm »

in my experience, the best way to "stop being single" is to stop thinking about it.  the people i have known who "have trouble" attracting someone of the opposite sex seem to have the issue because they obsess over it.  Desperation, loneliness--they have a smell--its obvious when its on you.  confidence smells too--but it smells a whole lot better to most people...
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Ginny Blundy
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« Reply #101 on: May 23, 2009, 12:52:11 am »

My advice:
Listen to the Savage Love Podcast. http://podcasts.thestranger.com/savagelove/ Honestly, the best, most honest relationship advice you will find, and good for gay, straight, and everyone in between.

There's not a piece of advice I could give anyone that you wouldn't get from Savage Love. Additionally, it's usually quite funny.

And as a disclaimer, I am in no way affiliated with the Savage Love Podcast, just a long-time fan.   Smiley
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Oh, you are beautiful! No really, you are, you're gorgeous! Space-age clockwork, I love it, I've got chills! Listen, I mean this from the heart - and by the way, count those - it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you.

But that won't stop me.
Joozey
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It's a clockwork universe...


« Reply #102 on: May 31, 2009, 08:28:13 pm »

Wear a steampunk kilt, go sit in a public area, and wait  Cool
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Engineer J. Fairbeard, Civil Engineer
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« Reply #103 on: August 25, 2009, 03:59:06 am »

The original thread starter's that is.

Not worrying about it is how to stay alone for another year, that worked for me in my forty first year quite well.

Having pondered this topic over Savage's recent musings and investigations therin, then having seen it brought up here of all places I look back at this year. It was good, enough of it rocked, but I think of all the women at whom I smiled, who smiled back, who I thought that I would see around eventually and didn't just ask out or get a number, because I wasn't worried about it.

Of course there are advantages to being solitary. Making your own decisions is the only one that comes to mind at the moment, but I kind of miss making joint decisions; though there are no guarantees that they are any wiser, they may be likelier to err on the correct side (sometimes caution sometimes adventure).
And of course some of us may be solitary by nature.
Theodore Sturgeon said that if anyone has trouble being alone it's because he doesn't consider himself good company, but I think that that was easy enough for him to say.

Ahem, long story short, refer back to the beginning of this post: if you want something to change, do worry about it or at least by all means take action. This I resolve to do myself as I have a tremendous appetite for intimacy and companionship that hasn't been fed in way too long.

Let's look busy everyone, get something started!


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Sir Robert
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« Reply #104 on: September 04, 2009, 12:26:55 am »

   On the advice of putting on a kilt and going to sit someplace,  I do exactly that and have had great experiances.

   If I have a blind date or a date from say MySpace which is a lot like a blind date, I wear a Kilt, this seperates the wheat from the chaff.  Up-tight women run screaming.  The open minded don't.

   I just ended a 9 month relationship that started off with me showing up in a kilt.  I have a problem keeping women, not finding them.  Ya gotta get out there and meet people.  Conventions are a wonderful place to do so, try a Sci-Fi Con, Steam-Babes!
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Sir Robert, Soldier, Gentleman Adventurer, all around nice guy.
darkshines
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« Reply #105 on: September 04, 2009, 02:48:39 pm »

1. Comment on cute guys photo.
2. When he responds via PM, add him to your MSN.
3. Arrange to meet.
4. Fall in love.
5. Still be blissfully happy 4 months later.

Worked for me Smiley
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« Reply #106 on: September 09, 2009, 07:52:27 pm »

1. Comment on cute guys photo.
2. When he responds via PM, add him to your MSN.
3. Arrange to meet.
4. Fall in love.
5. Still be blissfully happy 4 months later.

Worked for me Smiley


YAY!!!!! I love a good success story.



For me, distance usually isn't the issue. I've never been tied down anywhere, and I purposely set up my life like that. I'm able to relocate if it's for something good. I'm making another move this weekend from New Orleans to Grand Rapids (although, the circumstances are not very pleasant, I have to move for my own safety, long story...).


What I don't like is a guy trys to have sex before I'm ready, and even after I explain I'm not ready still tries to make things happen. That's not respectful and it's not going to be enjoyable for either of us if it is too soon.
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Viaţa este frumoasă
Silent Theatre
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« Reply #107 on: September 14, 2009, 09:04:27 am »


Enjoy your life even if you don't yet have someone to share it with.

Good point.Many a time Ive been sat thinking, ok I dont have a boyfriend which I would really like but I do have ..then list things that are good in my life.Having a partener if fab but it isnt the only thing that can make you happy.

Advice to guys.If you meet a girl and 5 minutes after introducing yourself you are making it clear you want to sleep with her, try not to get progressivly drunk as the night goes on.It will not increase your chances no matter how many times you ask.
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Project13
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« Reply #108 on: September 15, 2009, 12:41:43 pm »

or you could do what i did and post an advert for yourself


::::::FREE TO A GOOD HOME::::::
One slightly damaged greasemonkey
Enjoys the smell of wood/coalsmoke
Is competent with the useage of heavy (or not so heavy) tools and machinery
Also enjoys music, woodcarving, working with metal, designing tattoos, designing and making contraptions of much contraptual enjoyment, hugs and the occasional scrap of food
Is harmless and housetrained
A "must have" for any female's house
If interested, reply to this advertisment
Thankyou All For Your Time



sure it hasn't worked yet, but i did get a hug for trying lolz!!
*shrugs* ach well, maybe someday
*runs off to printing shop to print of an imperial thousand of said posters*
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What's That Lassie??
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #109 on: September 15, 2009, 01:37:19 pm »

Actually, there's nothing really wrong with being single, it suits me fine. I may find someone one of these days or I may not, but I'm content to wait for the right woman.
Not me Tongue I need hugs now to restore happyness.
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Siddons, the Incompable
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« Reply #110 on: September 27, 2009, 07:18:32 pm »

or you could do what i did and post an advert for yourself


::::::FREE TO A GOOD HOME::::::
One slightly damaged greasemonkey
Enjoys the smell of wood/coalsmoke
Is competent with the useage of heavy (or not so heavy) tools and machinery
Also enjoys music, woodcarving, working with metal, designing tattoos, designing and making contraptions of much contraptual enjoyment, hugs and the occasional scrap of food
Is harmless and housetrained
A "must have" for any female's house
If interested, reply to this advertisment
Thankyou All For Your Time



sure it hasn't worked yet, but i did get a hug for trying lolz!!
*shrugs* ach well, maybe someday
*runs off to printing shop to print of an imperial thousand of said posters*


I can't understand why you're not having any take-up on this advert!!  It's great  Cheesy

As to how to stop being single... I would say
1. Accept rejection without getting all bent out of shape over it, just because they don't like you doesn't mean that the next one won't.
2. Don't let your personal hang-ups about your personality/appearance/mutant weasel farm, stop you from approaching people ... let them find out on their own whether these things matter, don't just assume that they will.
3. Be prepared to put in the effort, relationships can be sweet and nice and fulfilling, but they're also often d*mn hard work.  I've been doing LD for 3 years next month, it's not ideal, but it does make you more aware of the need to make the most of the time you're spending together (be it electronically, or in person), just sitting on the sofa ignoring each other is not an ideal way to foster your relationship. (If done to excess, anyway  Grin)
4. Lastly, I would say, just love yourself, if you can't do it, who else is going to want to? 
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"We're going to die!!!!!"
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Project13
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« Reply #111 on: September 27, 2009, 08:56:45 pm »

or you could do what i did and post an advert for yourself


::::::FREE TO A GOOD HOME::::::
One slightly damaged greasemonkey
Enjoys the smell of wood/coalsmoke
Is competent with the useage of heavy (or not so heavy) tools and machinery
Also enjoys music, woodcarving, working with metal, designing tattoos, designing and making contraptions of much contraptual enjoyment, hugs and the occasional scrap of food
Is harmless and housetrained
A "must have" for any female's house
If interested, reply to this advertisment
Thankyou All For Your Time



sure it hasn't worked yet, but i did get a hug for trying lolz!!
*shrugs* ach well, maybe someday
*runs off to printing shop to print of an imperial thousand of said posters*


I can't understand why you're not having any take-up on this advert!!  It's great  Cheesy

As to how to stop being single... I would say
1. Accept rejection without getting all bent out of shape over it, just because they don't like you doesn't mean that the next one won't.
2. Don't let your personal hang-ups about your personality/appearance/mutant weasel farm, stop you from approaching people ... let them find out on their own whether these things matter, don't just assume that they will.
3. Be prepared to put in the effort, relationships can be sweet and nice and fulfilling, but they're also often d*mn hard work.  I've been doing LD for 3 years next month, it's not ideal, but it does make you more aware of the need to make the most of the time you're spending together (be it electronically, or in person), just sitting on the sofa ignoring each other is not an ideal way to foster your relationship. (If done to excess, anyway  Grin)
4. Lastly, I would say, just love yourself, if you can't do it, who else is going to want to? 


haha thankyou my good woman, but unforunately there has as of yet been no interest *sighs*
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Tori
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« Reply #112 on: October 27, 2009, 05:51:13 pm »

i know its been said, but confidence is everything

thats CONFIDENCE by the way, not arrogance.

its why i like things like the MCM Expo in London (though living near sheffield, its a long way) because the sheer aura of the place makes it easy to be confident, and everyone is alot more open anyway.

failing that all i do is remind myself that since i have friends, people must like something about me. therefore just go up and say hi. look at the eyes, theyre a beautiful thing anyway. And if you really have to come out with a pickup like, turn it into a joke.

i always like "what are the chances of me having all my teeth left if i say/ask [insert line here]"

hey, it worked for me!


but that doesnt mean its perfect. i know its cliché, i know youve already heard it but being yourself does actually work. its worked for me for the past 2 years with my girlfriend and ive never been happier.

she puts up with my jokes, thats a miracle right there
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Rao
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« Reply #113 on: December 16, 2009, 09:05:56 pm »

Well now I guess it's time I throw in my two cents.

*   Making sure to look at her eyes is #1 like many have said. Even if she has a marvelous bosom.
*   Don't look at other lasses bosoms or derrière or other bits when out on dates.
*   Be clean. Shave, shower, wear clean cloths. If you smoke make sure to have plenty of gum if they don't or even if they do.
*   Wear appropriate clothing. Flip flops, shorts and a wife beater is not a first date outfit unless your meeting at the beach. Even then ditch the wife beater. Dress to impress.
*   Act confident. Some ladies do find shy cute but get tired of it fairly quickly if you don't make some sort of move.
*   Even if the move is telling her you like her but to nervous and inexperienced to do anything.
*   Be honest. The truth is easier to remember anyways.
*   Water seeks it's own level. If your a 5 its hard to get a 9 or 10 unless your very confident. Even harder if your a 3.
*   If you're fat, bald and old you should not be trying to pick up 20 year olds. (Yes I'm overweight, bald, and getting older but I have confidence and have never had a problem with women)
*   Don't talk about your hobbies unless they have the same hobbies. You may find that collecting belly button lint is fabulous but you will probably be the only one in the room who does.
*   DO ask about their interests and hobbies. I like to throw out strange questions sometimes. "If they were a superhero which one would they be" is a common one. But don't go into these if they aren't comic fans.
*   In this day and age the first date should not be Dinner and a movie. It's to hard to talk while your eating and its rude to during the movie. Save this for the 3rd date. The first should be coffee or a long lunch.
*   Always be prepared and have condoms. (that have not expired because you haven't had a chance to use them in the last 3 years) You never know when you and someone will just click.
*   Seriously if your not getting anything on a regular basis it's ok to spend some dough on a professional if you ask me. Get a nice one. If its 300 bucks every three months you're still paying less than some guys do just dating.
*   Strip clubs are not a great place to pick up chicks. Unless you got cash to throw around and are confident. But if you were you wouldn't need this advice.
*   If it's not working out it's ok to say so and move on.
*   LAUGHTER it's not only the best medicine it's also the best way to get some tail. If you're funny use it. If you're not try to memorize some silly jokes. Don't throw them ALL out at once however. Try puns. Hell even some innuendo can be funny if you use it right. With a half grin or a wink afterwords.
*   Try to find some common ground. Gives you something to chat about.
*   Learn how to fold an origami flower. It's kinda cute if you fold one in front of her at dinner then give it to her. Or if most the flowers out there are too complex for you try the swan. They are rather simple.
*   STAY OFF YOUR PHONE while on a date. Don't look at your watch every 15 minutes.
*   Don't over indulge on alcohol and become stupid.
*   Do be a gentlemen. Hold the door for her, use both hands on her chair when helping her take a seat.
*   Make up personal cards with your name and contact info. Don't hand out a business cards. Keep it simple (name, cell, email)
*   Walk up to someone at a club. Say you find them attractive. Place your personal card in front of them and walk away. Some girls like mystery. (don't do it to every gall in the place however. That's just tacky)
*   Clean out your car, wash it, and vacuum. An air freshener wouldn't hurt. Make sure you have gas.
*   Don't wine about how your life, job, boss, or ex sucks.
*   Don't be afraid to ask someone out more than once if they said no the first time. They may have just been busy.


Some tips, some common sense, and so no no's. Hope they help.








    
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Raolin Aeromancer

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« Reply #114 on: December 17, 2009, 12:47:29 am »

DO! Learn some "Desirable Skills"..

Cooking, Basic Dancing and SOME cleaning skills make relationships easier and at the very minimum make you look like you have some kind of sense!
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #115 on: December 17, 2009, 02:40:28 am »

Cooking, Basic Dancing and SOME cleaning skills
What? People who are of an age to engauge in romantic relationships don't know that stuff!? Theoretically I should be ahead of the game, but I'm behind, far behind Undecided What went wro- !? oh yeah, mad scientist card came into play, damn.
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Vagabond GentleMan
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« Reply #116 on: December 17, 2009, 04:29:14 am »

How to stop being single:

Numbers.

Maybe you have to meet 76 people before you find one who fits.  Go meet 76 people.

Maybe you need to meet 1024.  Go meet 1024.

I had a short, fat, bald, ridiculously-thick-glasses-wearing, dorky little dude-friend who said "You can have sex any night of the week if you want to.  You just have to get out there at the bars and clubs and concerts and churches and school classes and just keep trying till you get one."

We're not talking specifically about sex, but the same rules apply.

Get out of the house.  Talk to some folk of the opposite sex.  Be polite, but be available.  The more you do it, the better you get at it.  Like any...other...skill.
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Well that wolf has a dimber bonebox, and he'll flash it all milky and red.  But you won't see our Red Jack's spit, nug, cuz he's pinked ya, and yer dead.
Joozey
Snr. Officer
****
Netherlands Netherlands


It's a clockwork universe...


« Reply #117 on: December 20, 2009, 07:41:23 pm »

How to stop being single AND find the lady that match your true inner preferences?

-She'd need to be able to craft, or show interest in it.
-She'd need not be hesitating to wear outfits and attend medieval/steampunk/fantasy events.
-And she'd need to have a feeling for passion (skills, history, whatever) and romance for nature (gazing stars in the night in the middle of nowhere, adoring the rain, hiking through Scandinavia...).

Would such a list be asking too much? I don't mind waiting a year or two... to five in order to find such a lady. Even being just good friends instead of a couple would be perfectly fine. But where and how to find such people? They are so incredibly rare.
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Vagabond GentleMan
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Clockwork Sepia


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« Reply #118 on: December 20, 2009, 08:25:39 pm »

I'd caution against making such lists.

Are you looking for a partner, or just yourself-with-the-other-genetalia?

Common interests are good, but so are complimentary differences.
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Joozey
Snr. Officer
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Netherlands Netherlands


It's a clockwork universe...


« Reply #119 on: December 20, 2009, 08:47:07 pm »

Ah, I'm searching for a life companion. I don't put value on ethnics, she may disagree on everything the world exists of with me, if she wants no sexual contact before marriage -fine. If she wants to never marry, fine as well. But she'll have to share that vision with me. Especially the romance is important. Perhaps it's just having the passion for something that attracts me.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2009, 08:54:07 pm by Joozey » Logged
akumabito
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« Reply #120 on: December 22, 2009, 11:44:21 pm »

Best way to stop being single: internet dating. Forget the stereotypical dogma people associate with it. It works. It work because it allows you to 'meet' a crapload of people in a really short timespan, who all happen to be there for the exact same reason you are. Plus, you can quickly scan for desirable traits and interests, etc. Like Vagabond said - if you need to meet loads of people, then so be it. There's no reason stating you have to meet all of 'm face-to-face though. Internet dating definitely speeds the process along.

That's how I met my current GF.. we liked eachothers profiles, started emailing, chatting later on, adding a webcam after that.. did that for two months before we met.. then we met every weekend, skip ahead two more months and we went on vacation together, skip ahead two more months and we're living together.. skip ahead a few more months and we've got a cat, a hamster and are on the lookout for a decent family car.. Things can move fast when you've found the right person..
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zpyder
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« Reply #121 on: December 23, 2009, 01:08:19 am »

Good to know there's at least one real success story for internet dating!

Tis a bit gutting to not really have ANY success on internet dating sites whatsoever Wink
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Joozey
Snr. Officer
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Netherlands Netherlands


It's a clockwork universe...


« Reply #122 on: December 23, 2009, 02:14:29 am »

It's very easy to fail on internet dating. Forget real life meetings. 95% of people you contact aren't responding, 4% that does respond aren't particularly willing to meet people in real life, or at least me. The other 1% are people whom you are now FRIENDS with. Not that that's a bad thing, I now have an activity partner to go antique-shopping! But that wasn't quite what I searched for initially.

But making friends through dating sites does help you meet other people in real life, which are again a potential match! That's been my strategy for several months now (of the several years I've been trying to date) and I must say it relieves from emotional damage being ignored and refused and all that (which I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing this).


Okay, I'm gonna give all you single people some powerful knowledge! Wink There is one dating site that's fun, free and without any restrictions regarding dating and swapping contact info, and alot of people are there! I've met a good steampunk friend from here, and there are quite some steampunk lovers still to be found on there. Also try out the ever increasing amount of steampunk tests! Do join, and help converting okCupid into A STEAMY PLAYGROUND UTOPIAN! (and search my profile, Joozey. We can be friends. Cheesy)

Perhaps we need to advice Doctor Steel to pay the site a visit...

okCupid!
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #123 on: December 23, 2009, 12:48:44 pm »


I've already been on there for a month or two, there are no nice mad people anywhere near me though Sad
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Joozey
Snr. Officer
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Netherlands Netherlands


It's a clockwork universe...


« Reply #124 on: December 23, 2009, 04:08:11 pm »

What, not in the UK? All I get are people from the UK... the lot of them seems plausibly mad.
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