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Author Topic: The Anti-Air Pirate Brigade.  (Read 5706 times)
Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


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« on: March 04, 2009, 09:07:00 am »

Are you sick and tired of our skies being polluted by the dregs of society?
Do you find your self hesitant to go outside for fear of an airborne attack?
Do your children refuse to walk home alone, dreading the thought of being abducted... or even worse... seduced by air piracy!

Then it sounds like you belong in:
The Anti-Air Pirate Brigade!

Discuss with fellow victims of air piracy, ways we can fight back and reclaim the skies!

 Grin LOL
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Matthias Gladstone
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Call me Ishmael


« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2009, 10:26:30 pm »

I totally agree! I'm an Air-privateer, not pirate (I hold a privateering charter from the RVN, having lost my full commission after accidently rigging the stock market) and i'm sick of seeing friendly merchant shipping being plundered (especially those full of nuns, savages!).
Captain Gladstone, keeping Vectis skies clear since 1847
-Matt
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Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2009, 10:38:28 pm »

Excellent, and welcome. This is a great first step for our cause. I too pilot a privately owned vessel. A research vessel in fact. Instead of stealing from every tom dick and harry that passes by us, we discover the great unknown, and recover lost and ancient artifacts, to have a better understanding of our world's history. And to share with the people of the world.

These selfish blighters were at first a gentle nuisance, but it has since gone out of control and something must be done. Tell all your friends and we will prevail!


I totally agree! I'm an Air-privateer, not pirate (I hold a privateering charter from the RVN, having lost my full commission after accidently rigging the stock market) and i'm sick of seeing friendly merchant shipping being plundered (especially those full of nuns, savages!).
Captain Gladstone, keeping Vectis skies clear since 1847
-Matt
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TimeTinker
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Steampunk Facilitator MVSS


WWW
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2009, 10:39:32 pm »

As a loyal officer of Her Majesty I would be most remiss if I did not volunteer to stand up and be counted. The defence of the defenceless and the smiting of the objectionable is of course part of any soldier's duty.

Happy to organise airborne detachments of troops for you gentlemen.
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BE SPLENDID!
Nex
Snr. Officer
****
Scotland Scotland



« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2009, 10:43:28 pm »

How can you have glourious spectacle of naval style fleet engagements but in the air if the assailant only has 1 airship. Give me the warring fleets of nations and empires any day.

(in reality)
[rant-ish mode powering up]I just plain don't like pirates.
I think it was because I used to have friends who hung out in a dive of a nautical themed bar around the time pirates of the caribbean came out, and over the years all the "pirates are so cool" just grated on me.

I'd even go so far as to say I preffer modern day somali pirates with their inflatable boats and AKs to the "classic pirate."[/rant-ish mode disengaged]
Cheesy
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Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2009, 10:44:37 pm »

Thank you sir, your Queen and country are quite proud of you.

I have started a subversive campaign by creating a false guild for Air-Pirates a thread over from this one. Those foolish braggarts will join the guild thinking that they are keeping in touch with their peers, when in reality we will be keeping tabs on their activities!
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Nex
Snr. Officer
****
Scotland Scotland



« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2009, 10:47:54 pm »

I propose we find their main port of call and bring as many to battle in one place as possible, none of this sneaking about in the clowds ambushing trade vessels for them, they shall see how inadequate they are as a military force soon enough.

Now where did I put those plans for the Airship lifted by Hydrogen Cyanide gas...I think they might finally come in handy...
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Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2009, 10:50:16 pm »

Agreed absolutely. Both Pirates and Ninja's have always bothered me. Something about finding rapists, and murderer's "cool" has always worn on my nerves.

How can you have glourious spectacle of naval style fleet engagements but in the air if the assailant only has 1 airship. Give me the warring fleets of nations and empires any day.

(in reality)
[rant-ish mode powering up]I just plain don't like pirates.
I think it was because I used to have friends who hung out in a dive of a nautical themed bar around the time pirates of the caribbean came out, and over the years all the "pirates are so cool" just grated on me.

I'd even go so far as to say I preffer modern day somali pirates with their inflatable boats and AKs to the "classic pirate."[/rant-ish mode disengaged]
Cheesy
Logged
Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2009, 10:52:20 pm »

Capital idea sir.

I believe a rather large group of them will be meeting at a secret port in Seattle Washington this coming October.

Perhaps we should start gathering our forces now and prepare for war!

I propose we find their main port of call and bring as many to battle in one place as possible, none of this sneaking about in the clowds ambushing trade vessels for them, they shall see how inadequate they are as a military force soon enough.

Now where did I put those plans for the Airship lifted by Hydrogen Cyanide gas...I think they might finally come in handy...
Logged
Nex
Snr. Officer
****
Scotland Scotland



« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2009, 11:01:15 pm »

Ah, now Ninjas I've got some respect for at the very least, the good ones anyway.
Sure as far as the East goes I preffer the magesty of the Imperial Chinese Army, or the consumate proffesionalism of the Samurai, but Ninjas are still highly impressive.

Mmm..Ninjas with steam-jetpacks for stealth boarding actions of pirate vessels...where'd I put that list of ideas I think it needs updating...
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Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2009, 11:03:43 pm »

Yes I agree, Ninja's are skilled warriors and masters of stealth and subtlety. They can be anyone from a disgruntled Samurai, to a fisherman, or courtesan. Ninja's are sneaky.

Pirates not so much.

I'm not sure how effective any kind of steam powered machinery would be for Ninja's however, as that kind of defeats the purpose of stealth. Wink

Ah, now Ninjas I've got some respect for at the very least, the good ones anyway.
Sure as far as the East goes I preffer the magesty of the Imperial Chinese Army, or the consumate proffesionalism of the Samurai, but Ninjas are still highly impressive.

Mmm..Ninjas with steam-jetpacks for stealth boarding actions of pirate vessels...where'd I put that list of ideas I think it needs updating...
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TimeTinker
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Steampunk Facilitator MVSS


WWW
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2009, 11:13:47 pm »

Your ninja boarders are of course an impressive idea but a gentleman stands up to the enemy and slugs it out toe to toe.  You can rely upon my regulars to stand firm in the face of enemy fire and demonstrate the very best marksmanship in return. Stiff upper lip old chap. Pip, pip.
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Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2009, 03:31:31 am »

Ladies, Gents, et al,

Oh! How bloody excellent! War! At last, some business! Ahem!

Please allow me to offer my services for all your offensive and defensive weaponization needs.
Whilst I myself prefer to remain on Terra Firma, it is well within the capability of my factory to equip your airships with the latest and finest available arms & armour, all at prices well within your means.

Yours,
Sgt. Major Thos. Elihue Thistlewaite, HMRHM, ret.

IRON FURNACE ARMS & ARMOUR, unltd. Barren Springs, Va, USA
« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 03:33:58 am by Sgt.Major Thistlewaite » Logged

Yet well thy soul hath brooked the turning tide, with that innate, untaught philosophy,Which, be it wisdom, coldness, or deep pride, is gall and wormwood to an enemy.
Josh of Vernian Process
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Antarctica Antarctica


Maestro of Steam


WWW
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2009, 03:33:48 am »

Ahhh why yes of course... what is a war without a profiteer?

;P

Ladies, Gents, et al,

Oh! How bloody excellent! War! At last, some business! Ahem!

Please allow me to offer my services for all your offensive and defensive weaponization needs.
Whilst I myself prefer to remain on Terra Firma, it is well within the capability of my factory to equip your airships with the latest and finest available arms & armour, and all well within your means.

Yours,
Sgt. Major Thos. Elihue Thistlewaite, HMRHM, ret.

IRON FURNACE ARMS & ARMOUR, unltd. Barren Springs, Va, USA
Logged
Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2009, 03:56:24 am »

My Dear M. VernianProcess,

At your convenience, Sir, I shall be happy to arrange for you a demonstration of my patented Atomic Cannon.

Yours,
Thistlewaite

IRON FURNACE ARMS & ARMOUR Barren Springs, Va, USA

« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 06:05:09 am by Sgt.Major Thistlewaite » Logged
Sean Patrick O-Byrne
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Canada Canada


Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2009, 08:42:46 am »

'Have shovel, will travel.'

Foods better on 'er Majesties ships, though I'm not sure I'm thrilled about this 'flying' business.
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I've shovelled up the gypsum and it neigh 'on makes you choke
I've stood knee deep cyanide, got sick with a caustic burn
Been working rough, I've seen enough, to make your stomach turn


www.doctorsteel.com
Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2009, 04:08:35 pm »

Ladies, Gentlemen, et al,

I should mention that I shall require a good bit of open ground for the aforementioned demonstration to take place. The last time I demonstrated the Atomic Cannon was before the Great War, in 1908. Unfortunately, I made a slight miscalculation in regard to the placement of the reviewing stand, and thereby...ummmm...well, vaporized my potential clients. Rest assured, such an error will not occur this time, as I have had Einstein's brain in a jar(ahem) my research scientists recalculate the blast zone parameters. I hushed up the previous incident as best I could, but it was impossible that the world would not take some note of it, and it is nowadays referred to as "The Tunguska Event."

Your humble servant,
Thistlewaite

« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 04:10:44 pm by Sgt.Major Thistlewaite » Logged
Sean Patrick O-Byrne
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Canada Canada


Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2009, 09:24:44 pm »

Pardon me for sayin' so - I ain't no fancy scientist, right? - but wouldn't this cannon here be a little, uh... overmuch? That is to say, you don't want to destroy everything. I understand capture and trial is usually preferable, and what if there's, y'know, friendly... land underneath?

How about smaller scale. Gattling guns. I like them. Got any fancy bits for those?
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Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2009, 10:59:18 pm »

Dear Ladies, Gents, et al,

Well, I'm glad you asked, Sean...in a conversation over in the Warlords, Rogue Generals, Gentlemen Adventurers Club, I made mention of my personal Gatling, which represents the penultimate example of the type. Somewhat larger than its American predecessor, with twelve .88 calibre barrels, and a steam driven actuator, it attains a cyclic rate of appx. 1200 rounds per minute. It is a bit cumbersome, weighing in at around 100 stone, but, as I mentioned, I seldom travel without it, not only owing to its intrinsic worth, but because it makes an excellent advertisement for the quality of my work. The material is the finest obtainable, the tolerances are extremely fine, and it is ported, polished, and balanced to perfection.
As to the "overkill" factor of the aforementioned Atomic Cannon, you are quite right. I am attempting to employ the tactic used by the "Superpowers" during the "Cold War"-the principle being described by the acronym MAD- mutually assured destruction. By selling this same awesome weapon to both sides in a conflict, I am making my humble effort to maintain Peace-each will be too frightened to actually use the bloody thing! Not to mention, the cost of the Cannon and subsequent "upgrades" should keep me in pocket change for years. I hope to also interest these combatants in my newly developed Anti-Atomic Uber-Reactive Armour ( pat. pending )...just in case the "other party" tries a sneak attack.
Also quite reasonably priced, I might add. Hey, my 58 room mansion and thousand acre game preserve aren't going to maintain themselves..( Ahem) All in the interest of public service, I assure you!

Regards,
Thistlewaite

IRON FURNACE ARMS & ARMOUR, unltd. Barren Springs, Va, USA

« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 11:03:02 pm by Sgt.Major Thistlewaite » Logged
helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2009, 03:42:04 am »

I was under the impression that MAD, like the Alliance system previous to The Great War, was a load of tripe.
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Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2009, 04:09:15 am »

My Dear helios,
Apparently not, as Russia and the U.S.A. had enough nuclear potential to blow the entire world to smithereens fifty times over, and they had this potential for 40 years, and we're still here. Must've worked, MAD though it definitely was. Like the old quote "That's so crazy it just might work!" Grin

Regards,
Thistlewaite
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helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2009, 04:14:12 am »

Yes, but all it takes is one idiot to attack the other power.
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Sgt.Major Thistlewaite
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Gibraltar Gibraltar


I am, therefore I think.


« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2009, 05:27:21 am »

Which only increases the sales potential for my Anti-Atomic Uber-Reactive Armour!(pat. pending) Grin
Careful-we're treading close to "political"....I'm just glad that -so far- nobody's been that stupid!
Down in NZ, you all would have had a nice seat on the sidelines munching popcorn...at least until your popcorn started to pop on its own! Shocked By the time the drift radiation reached NZ and Australia, though, the Northern hemisphere would have been glow-in-the-dark toast for quite awhile already. So, hooray!
We're still here-let's have a beer!
Cheers!

Thistlewaite
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helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2009, 01:39:01 pm »

True. Let's veer safely back vaguely on track.
So, them Air-Pirates eh?
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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Canada Canada


Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2009, 08:33:19 pm »

Don't like 'em. Smell funny.
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