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Author Topic: PETMA: People for the Ethical Treatment of Monsters and Abominations  (Read 6044 times)
hereaftermouse
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« on: January 07, 2009, 03:39:51 am »

I am shocked, shocked, at the abuse and cold blooded killing of the monster population that is encouraged by the so-called "Van Helsing Society." Just because it eats babies doesn't mean it deserves to be maliciously slaughtered by unregulated vigilantes and sadistic sportsmen (or sportswomen)! Think of the effects these people are having on the kraken population! The disruption of the vampiric ecosystem! The destruction of the zombie life-cycle! Consider the suffering of these species and the cycle of violence that we are encouraging in our society!

Something must be done!


As a further note: !!

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qui est in literis
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« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2009, 03:48:29 am »

~facepalm~
I knew it was only a matter of time before this sort of thing turned up.
I suppose you'll be trying to fling fake blood on my yeti-fur coat, next, or break into my lair base of operations and crash open my jackalope hutches.
Inferior life deserves to be killed, and in most cases, eaten also.

And besides that, it's usually just as much fun for them as it is for us. Everyone yells a lot, fires projectiles, claws and bites, loses teeth and digits, then we all go home and have a nice glass of sherry and say we'll do it again next week. Sort of like rugby, or hockey.
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« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2009, 05:04:08 am »

I don't suppose you also oppose the capture of and experimentation on such creatures?  I would hope not, because I don't need anyone bothering me, nor picketing my lab.
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« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2009, 05:15:10 am »

Please protect my specimens Smiley my secret lab could be discovered any day!
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« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2009, 05:15:58 am »

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hereaftermouse
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« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2009, 05:38:13 am »

is meat really that color pink? o.O
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« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2009, 05:39:35 am »

Would I lie to you, Mouse?   o.o'
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Sir Newton Bridges
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« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2009, 06:29:51 am »

i knew something like this would be happening soon. i was just the other day wonder if there was yet another niche of somesort that i could use to try and open another club, just for the sake of it.
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« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2009, 06:52:04 am »

Near as I can tell we still need a Minion Workers Union and some sort of Explorers League.
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cyberjacques
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« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2009, 07:20:44 am »

Just because it eats babies doesn't mean it deserves to be maliciously slaughtered by unregulated vigilantes and sadistic sportsmen (or sportswomen)!

Freakin' hippies...

If eating babies doesn't warrant malicious slaughter, then what, pray tell, would?  What exactly would an innocent blood-sucking fiend have to do for you to agree that it should be killed?  Please for the love of sanity, tell me you're joking!
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« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2009, 09:15:29 am »

A fine and noble cause my good madam, but utterly lost around these parts I fear.

For my part, I have no issue with the various monstrosities rampant in our little universe as long as they are meant to be here. Crimes against nature and eldritch monstrosities should obviously be destroyed or returned from whence they came, for the good of the general populace.
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« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2009, 04:05:34 pm »

My good fellows all. I applaud Miss Mouses idea as a wonderful & humanitarian idea.
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« Reply #12 on: January 07, 2009, 05:07:27 pm »

People Eating Tasty Monsters & Abominations FTW! Grin
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
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« Reply #13 on: January 07, 2009, 05:44:46 pm »




This is what it looks like when it's been cooked a bit and put back together:



 Grin

Does "ethical treatment of monsters and abominations" just mean that you shoot it once and be done, rather than the business with the torches and the pitchforks?
« Last Edit: January 07, 2009, 05:50:39 pm by Sir Nikolas Vendigroth » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2009, 09:54:13 pm »

I always kill the monsters and abominations I deal with ethically. Bam! One quick, clean shot to the head (or heads), and it's gone the way of the Dodo relatively painlessly.
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« Reply #15 on: January 07, 2009, 11:47:51 pm »

For my part, I have no issue with the various monstrosities rampant in our little universe as long as they are meant to be here.

I assure you that every last one of my monstrosities was as I meant it to be...
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Ambergris
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« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2009, 01:39:17 am »

*ahem* Speaking as a HEZ, (Highly Educated Zombie) I would like to remind all zombie and vampire hunters that my brethren and I were once human, not decaying and an unsettling shade of peach or brown. (thankfully, after death I've turned a healthy gray) Please, hurt the undead no more than you would hurt the living.*

*Which isn't really saying a lot, considering what happens during your average bar brawl.
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fireheart storm
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« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2009, 02:46:37 am »

I'll stop blowing out their brains once they stop trying to eat mine.  if you're rally all for the natural cycle,I think it's perfectly natural for me to defend myself when attacked.
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Herkimer
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« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2009, 03:30:52 am »

This is so obvious that I'm shocked that nobody has done it yet... then again that's probably why nobody has said it. Oh well, I couldn't resist!

PETMA= People *Eating Tasty Monsters & Abominations. Smiley

If you didn't want anyone to eat your creations, why did you make them out of meat?

*NOTE, in the case of the undead, or clanks the "E" could be substituted for exterminating/experimenting, you get the point.

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« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2009, 05:37:22 am »

PEOPLE, PEOPLE! I believe this can be handled civilly. now... does everyone have a weapon? preferably a ray gun to avoid the mess...

but on a more serious note, here are some of my notes on what to do when encountering a creature (and I should mention I'm a chaotic neutral kind of man)

if it is currently trying to eat me, my friends or family = kill it first
if it is not, but could eat me = study, avoid, or capture and release (be ready for it to become option 1)
if it could eat my enemies = capture and release stratigraphicly
if it is harmless = study, capture and release, or keep as a pet

in conclusion...
I'll stop blowing out their brains once they stop trying to eat mine.  if you're rally all for the natural cycle,I think it's perfectly natural for me to defend myself when attacked.


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« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2009, 06:06:54 am »

if it could eat my enemies = capture and release stratigraphicly

You use them to date archæological & paleological deposits based upon their position within rock & soil deposits? Brilliant! Defeat your foes by undermining their sense of historical continuity! (Might I recommend my Giant Death-Star-Nosed Mole for the task, as many other species of monster might find the assignment rather overburdensome. Tongue )
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« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2009, 08:28:19 am »

if it could eat my enemies = capture and release stratigraphicly

You use them to date archæological & paleological deposits based upon their position within rock & soil deposits? Brilliant! Defeat your foes by undermining their sense of historical continuity! (Might I recommend my Giant Death-Star-Nosed Mole for the task, as many other species of monster might find the assignment rather overburdensome. Tongue )

balderdash! I'll use the largest kraken I can get my hands on! really confuse the buggers!

on a related note I would like to dis-own my firefox spell check now  Embarrassed
"'strategicaly'(missing an 'L') I misspelled strategically?" *right click for a quick fix assuming the single missing "L" would make "strategically" be the first choice on the list* silly me. measure twice, cut once and never download a dictionary "addon/upgrade" for firefox.
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dr490nw4rri0r
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« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2009, 12:43:49 am »




I can't stop laughing.
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« Reply #23 on: January 09, 2009, 03:51:31 pm »

My abominations are all masochists.  Does that change the rules?
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« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2009, 04:04:05 pm »

As long as they have a safe word ;-)
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