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Author Topic: how do you deal with the inevitable hecklings?  (Read 186078 times)
CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #2125 on: December 13, 2013, 01:03:27 am »

If it stays heckling, sure. But in the case of Sophie Lancaster, which was mentioned earlier in the thread, it quickly turned into violence. Sometimes class and sass won't work if a heckler is determined to turn it into a fist fight. You can't run away from that. In a situation like that, violence is the answer. Running isn't. You can't reason with people like that.
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4_0_4
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« Reply #2126 on: December 13, 2013, 01:15:57 am »

But this thread is supposed to be about heckling. If I laid the smackdown on every creep who stares down my shirt on the bus or every idiot who feels the need to tell me it's not Halloween, I'd have perpetually bruised knuckles and a few restraining orders. Violence is only the answer to violence. To heckling, the answer is class and sass.

No offence Maudin, but when you are compromised like me you dont really have the luxury of giving people the benefit of doubt , they know that themselves when they choose to provoke you - the question is whether its a bluff or real ?

Now ask yourself if you were disabled ( let says in chair for convenience ) , would you be prepared to take that risk ?
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4_0_4
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« Reply #2127 on: December 13, 2013, 01:19:20 am »

If it stays heckling, sure. But in the case of Sophie Lancaster, which was mentioned earlier in the thread, it quickly turned into violence. Sometimes class and sass won't work if a heckler is determined to turn it into a fist fight. You can't run away from that. In a situation like that, violence is the answer. Running isn't. You can't reason with people like that.


I spent some time in Scotland before I became disabled in my yesteryears so I know what you mean .. Cheesy

Keep in mind its far easier to to get pissed at a younger age there in the UK compared to the US too .

before I became housebound I was seriously contemplating getting some sort of BB rapid fire gun as a deterrent , perhaps something like this

Pity you couldnt fill those bearings with a touch of acid for some added effect too.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2013, 01:38:15 am by 4_0_4 » Logged
Phinneas MacBragg
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« Reply #2128 on: December 15, 2013, 07:37:43 pm »

I'm 6'4" - 240. People don't say anything to me...at least not to my face, anyhow.

If they are insistent on making fun of me, I am able to make fun of myself. Anything they say just rolls off me like water off a ducks back. I am Practically incapable of being embarrassed and was born without a shred of modesty.

If you are unable to take a little good natured ribbing, you should probably avoid being amongst the general population in SP attire. Bring your outfit and change when you get to your venue.
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4_0_4
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« Reply #2129 on: December 17, 2013, 12:37:20 am »

I'm 6'4" - 240.

Not in a wheelchair your not.
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2130 on: February 26, 2014, 01:48:18 pm »

Hmm, it an attempt (perhaps futile) to pour oil in this troubled water, I would say that there is no cast iron 100% works every time solution to any of this.
The problem is the variability of the situation. One conflict is not a carbon copy of any other, they are unique much like evil snowflakes.

To compound this lack of consistency, the situation itself even when initially properly diagnosed can change second by second. Rendering a previously sane plan impossibly foolhardy or at best ill fitting.

There is an old saying in piloting: any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

Now it would be simple to apply this to conflict, but this is easier said than done. We seldom come out of situations like this with a bound and a song. They are stressful by nature. Human brains being what they are; stressful situations tend to get farmed up for internal review. Where they fall pray to regret. Thinking through better solutions, even acting them out those solutions is not uncommon and a natural part of being human. So yes you survived it (whatever it was), maybe you'll find a solution that's more emotionally satisfying next time, maybe you won't. But please understand the place and the moment are unique. For all of us.

Yet still we all found a way. The reward for doing so is being allowed in the days after to tell the story. If you want to.
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SeVeNeVeS
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« Reply #2131 on: March 02, 2014, 12:55:53 pm »

If it stays heckling, sure. But in the case of Sophie Lancaster, which was mentioned earlier in the thread, it quickly turned into violence. Sometimes class and sass won't work if a heckler is determined to turn it into a fist fight. You can't run away from that. In a situation like that, violence is the answer. Running isn't. You can't reason with people like that.

What kind of advice is this? maybe you're right, but these people are meek, feeble, helpless, defenseless runts, many of whom have never seen the light of day. Is fighting really the answer, or should us steamers stick to what we do best: taking to our beloved computer screens and crying to eachother about how normal people make fun of us for dressing and acting like complete lunatics.

tik tok Shocked

Keep it up whilst ya can......... TICK TOCK TICK TOCK..................And you my friend, will be gone.

~SeVeN~
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Augustus Longeye
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« Reply #2132 on: March 02, 2014, 01:58:36 pm »

Zock has been banned for unbefitting behaviour, please continue on topic and let the matter die Wink

Thank you all Smiley
~Longeye~
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2133 on: March 03, 2014, 07:18:41 pm »

What kind of advice is this? maybe you're right, but these people are meek, feeble, helpless, defenseless runts, many of whom have never seen the light of day. Is fighting really the answer, or should us steamers stick to what we do best: taking to our beloved computer screens and crying to eachother about how normal people make fun of us for dressing and acting like complete lunatics.

tik tok Shocked

Ok let's try and dredge something useful out of this horror show. There is a gold nugget in this stool and I aim to prove it even if I have to soil my digits to do so!

Whilst it is true that some of us are better thinkers than fighters. I firmly believe that we are all responsible for our own actions even when the circumstances render that choice limited. To a fighter it is easier to fight. This is a solution with repercussions like any other. So we do our best with the time allotted to us, in relation to our capacity and the skills we possess. Win or loose, humans find solace from communication so I see no conflict between harmful events and talking them through after the fact. It is simply the natural progression from the regrettable events described.

More over, by communicating we gain a greater perspective. As such communication is an imperative part of the healing, dealing and psychological inoculation process. Although lightly humorous, I do feel you might be purposefully sidestepping the point for the sake of goaded gain. Unbecoming, but as an old troll who saw the error of their ways. I do understand. Give it a couple of years and you'll be fine. Probably.

See? Nugget! Erm, does anyone have any bleach?
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bicyclebuilder
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« Reply #2134 on: March 04, 2014, 07:44:47 am »

That's all fine to ponder on beforehand or in hindsight, but how one would actually react when a fist is moving towards one with a hurling speed, that's another story.
True, it is best to outwit your opponent with verbal communication. Some assertiveness would come in handy. Also a big awareness of good posture and assertive body language. This would also be the time to put up your best pokerface, because it is probably going to be a good deal of bluffing. Most of the time, one can go a long way with bluffing.
Bottom line is that some people are looking for a fight, not a conversation. To them, it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it. And most of the time it has nothing to do with Steampunk or being different. They just pick out a person who they think they can take and start heckling.
How do you deal with that? You don't. Avoid if you can. If not, try to get out with as little damage as possible.
I agree that we are all responsible for our own actions, but what if someone disagrees with this statement?
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2135 on: March 04, 2014, 12:10:43 pm »

How does anyone react to anything? Some react well, some react badly. Some win and some I'm afraid to say will loose. We our build as much by our defeats as by our victories. Some of us may have many tales that we do not tell because we handled them badly. Where we cowered when we should have roared.

I'm not decrying anyone's abilities to pummel things if needs must. That said any choice made whilst under the threat of clear and present danger should be understood not dismissed as incorrect. We all make bad choices in stressful situations it is enough that we survive them.

I don't actually think we are disagreeing here, merely talking at cross purposes.
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von Corax
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« Reply #2136 on: March 04, 2014, 08:10:57 pm »

I don't actually think we are disagreeing here, merely talking at cross purposes.

You're having what I like to call a heated agreement.
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bicyclebuilder
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« Reply #2137 on: March 05, 2014, 06:52:31 am »

I don't actually think we are disagreeing here, merely talking at cross purposes.

You're having what I like to call a heated agreement.

 Grin True!
This thread is an occilating line of three statements.
- If I get hackled, I'll do this...;
- I got hackled and I acted like this...;
- one can't predict a reaction on hackling.

This thread goes around and around in these three statements.
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2138 on: March 06, 2014, 05:08:25 pm »

So intellectually oscillating gently round similar themes?
Still you are right, by discussing the method by which such things are "solved". Room is being taken from useful examples, which might prove advantageous in a future scrap.
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #2139 on: May 11, 2014, 01:00:10 am »

This is the kind of heckling you will encounter if you ever dare post anything on Craigslist:

http://austin.craigslist.org/sys/4451478275.html
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2140 on: May 12, 2014, 11:52:47 am »

His computer STILL smells like cheese and spicy meat!
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bicyclebuilder
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« Reply #2141 on: May 12, 2014, 01:12:04 pm »

I think nowadays, internet heckling is the wors kind of verbal heckling. A life can be virually ruined by one negative post. It get's chared, liked and forwarded up to the point that it can't be undone. Ones it's on the 'net, it stays on the 'net. Even after a dozen years or so, when your future boss googgles your name.
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2142 on: May 12, 2014, 03:43:44 pm »

You have a very good point, a text, image or past conflict that, thanks to the nature of the net; initially pervades then tarries like a lingering poison.

The more we advance the more we seem to be held captive by our histories. Unable to escape the follies of our past. An insidious and taciturn affliction; never being allowed to forget. 
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #2143 on: May 12, 2014, 07:56:00 pm »

You have a very good point, a text, image or past conflict that, thanks to the nature of the net; initially pervades then tarries like a lingering poison.

The more we advance the more we seem to be held captive by our histories. Unable to escape the follies of our past. An insidious and taciturn affliction; never being allowed to forget. 

I don't know, in my example there is no such thing as bad publicity.  Everyone can see that what I sell is way better than a pizza box  Grin
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2144 on: May 13, 2014, 11:57:50 am »

My dear sir! That goes without saying....
Pizza box indeed! Such impudence!

Well of course "anyone" can do anything badly.
One hopes he doesn't eat with the same proficiency, else within the space of a week he will be fork blind!

I think the point still stands that is a touch more difficult to forget on the internet. Probably not as melodramatic as I initially put it, but still a tricky undertaking.
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MWBailey
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« Reply #2145 on: May 14, 2014, 04:15:18 am »

Being a banjo player (among other instruments), I have developed a fairly thick skin (recent occurrences notwithstanding). We who strum the string-ed drum tend to learn to be able to poke fun back, both at ourselves and goodnaturedly at others (to a point).

Hecklers of various stripes abound in audiences, so one has a choice:
1. trade back and forth and try to get along, or
2. get defensive, aggressive, and then violent when the situation goes pear-shaped.

No. 2 tends to cause injuries, damaged instruments, and a dearth of offers for more gigs; personally, I prefer no. 1.
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2146 on: May 14, 2014, 11:13:33 am »

I would have though the usage of musical accompaniment to drive home a pithy retort does make your average musician a difficult target when it comes to heckling.

Illustration:

Bloke: Oi! Why don't you go get a proper job.
Musician: It's nice to see that the illuminate is in attendance.
<play the opening bars to duelling banjos>

Or of course the good old standby that should be every musicians tool kit:
Shave and a hair cut!
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Dr. Madd
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« Reply #2147 on: August 06, 2015, 08:10:10 am »

Revenge against Hecklers:

A while back, I was at a Hobby Lobby craft store. I had decided, since we were out of town for the day- to see my wife's Doctor, She was pregnant with my youngest at the time- And I decided to wear: Boots, Blue pants, A striped naval sweater, a black leather vest, an Iron Cross, a red bandana around my neck, shoulder length hair, mutton chops and a black tricornered hat. As I'm acquiring my craft supplies, a small child sees me and runs to the next aisle yelling to his mother-

"Mommy, Mommy! There's a pirate in here!"

As I rounded said corner, the Mother was in mid-scold as I passed, and she stopped her bantering with said young'un when she saw me pass, whistling "What do you do with a drunken Sailor?".

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Clym Angus
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« Reply #2148 on: August 06, 2015, 11:46:15 am »

You sir are psychic! I had to defend against a heckle with precisely the same tune. It was a number of weeks ago now I was taking the river boat to Greenwich. I was wearing one of my better 4 pocket waist coats and my much loved bowler. One of the boat attendants whistled the theme tune to Laurel and Hardy as I got on so I whistled "What shall we do with the drunken sailor" when we got off.

I called it a draw and we went on our merry way.

More recently Valerie and I were called at across the street by a 14 year old boy/girl thing. "It's not the 80's you know" I was generally stumped. I'm use to insults that make sense. This one was so stupid it floored me. What's the point of a pithy reply when the insulter can barely muster the cognitive charm to bend towards the light?

Maybe it was surrealist humour? I'll have to try that next time I see a pack of football supporters: "Oi You! Haddock, deciduous, Alveoli!"

Cutting....
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walking stick
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« Reply #2149 on: August 06, 2015, 01:42:11 pm »

Possible replies to that sort of heckle.

Yes indeed, we are well past the 1880s.

Alternate History dear thing, not Retro.

Botheration! Missed The Tardis again.
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