how do you deal with the inevitable hecklings?

[Flynn MacCallister]

I remember once seeing a finely-dressed gentleman in the DC Metro one evening, bejeweled with various medals.  Looked absolutely regal in his military attire.  He was literally surrounded by college kids making fun of him continually

I remember seeing something like this myself, except the military man in question was being heckled by some wiggas, so before this guy wound up putting these little gangsta wannabes teeth in, I asked him to allow me to deal with them. One of them asked "so what do you think you're gonna do Oscar Wilde?"
I smiled and replied "The same thing he did to his gentleman friends if you like me enough."
They all had a disgusted look cross their face and walked off. The military man thought what I told them was hilarious.

a 'wigger' knew who oscar wilde was? was this at a prep school?

I think our wiggas are different from yours.

[Capt. Dirigible]

I remember being distraught as a teenager cause all the girls in my class wore their skirts 'slutty' style (as short as they could go), but unfortunately both my parents were teachers and I didn't get away with doing the same.

When my late brother joined  his secondary (high) school at aged 12 it was a prestegious Grammar school and had a strict uniform code. It stated quite clearly in literature handed out to parents that first term pupils must wear grey shorts. My brother protested fiercely but our mum is a stickler for rules and said if they say you have to wear shorts then you will wear shorts. He turned up on the first day of the new term at his new school..the only boy in 1200 pupils in shorts!! Every other first year pupil was in long grey trousers. Apparently the shorts rule was one the school didn't rigidly enforce but their literature for new pupils hadn't been updated in a few years.
The second day he too was in long grey trousers after telling mum how embarrassed and humiliated he felt.

[theairman]

It is funny how schools enforce certain rules and ignore others!

[Mad Maudlin]

I've only seen someone get in trouble for a wardrobe violation once. She's a ditz, was being really annoying, and the teacher told her her top was too skimpy just to shut her up.

[Auntie Ludmilla]

Her teacher was obviously unable to handle the situation then, if he/she had to resort to accusing a child of overt sexual signalling, and thus thus imply she was of loose morals, because of the cut of her clothing (which as a child, she was not necessarily responsible for), in front of a class of her peers. You would think, that as a teacher, he or she would've had the intellectual fire power to bring her in to line by assessing why she feels the need to attention seek, and addresing the root cause of the problem, rather than exhibiting such blatant prejudice.

[The Nordic One]

May I play devil's advocate for a second? Perhaps a reason for the inevitable heckling might lie in the fact that most people have no way of understanding what Steampunk is.  Unlike other clearly-defined subcultures, Steampunk seems to be an amalgam of little-understand subcultures into something beyond the process of mainstream society, and the "path of least resistance" is to hate what they cannot fathom.

I'm having one of those days now whereby I can't process Steampunk!

[Vagabond GentleMan]

Eh, I think most heckling boils down to this:

The nail that sticks out gets hammered.

And so this thread is about responses to this unfortunate fact:

Be such a hard nail that you chip the hammer, be such a flexible nail that the hammer-wielder gets frustrated and gives up, hammer back, etc.

[Auntie Ludmilla]

Stop...... Hammer time. (sorry)

[BrethrenAndBetrayer]

A short anecdote my friend related to me recently, paraphrased and slightly edited:

"I was out with [NAME WITHHELD] when a group of people walked by. They were in full, stereotypical goth attire.
[NAME WITHHELD] thought for a moment before yelling "Save the whales!", to which the Goths replied by correcting his mistake."

The moral of the story: if yer gonna heckle, heckle right.

I thought I'd open on a light note before apologizing for being the possible root of the uniform debate.
...
Sorry

  -Brethren

[Vagabond GentleMan]

Ha ha ha!  Don't apologize, brother!
I LIKED the uniform debate!

It's ok to debate here, we do it respectfully, dig?

I don't get the 'save the whales' thing, though...uh, what did you're friend's associate think those goths were?

[MalContent]

VG...it is obvious his friend saw they were wearing black in morning for all the dead whales ( insert sarcastic tone)

[Lord Wraste]

I get called "Fag" a bit because of the lipstick.
On the days when I'm feeling like dealing with it, I ignore it.
On the days when I don't feel like dealing with it, I don't wear it.

The ladies love the lipstick, even though I take it off for kissing...

My point being: If you have the chutzpah to deal with it, then deal. If you don't, then don't get cranky when it happens and just go incognito that day.

Self expression is good, I fully endorse it, but Steampunk is more than fashion. It's an attitude.

[Vagabond GentleMan]

Ha ha ha ha!  Wraste, I love you bro!

I'm an ass, though!  I fully intend to dress like a weirdo every day, and if I get hassled by the plebes or the police or by the American customs officers in the airport ("You go anywhere outside of London?"  -no- "Did you go to Amsterdam?" -uh...no- "Cause we've got dogs at the next check point, ya know..."  -bring on the dogs, doesn't affect me- "If you had any 'paraphernalia' you could drop it in this box, no questions asked..." -I'm fine, sir-), I'm gonna BITCH about it!

See? 

[Lord Wraste]

Love you too, yo. (Bromance, we need to make a buddy movie...)

But see, that's brass-ball chutzpah right there.
Not giving a crap on any level what others think of you and being willing to back it up.
Some folk can just up and do it, ie you, others need to do it in stages.
Me, I do my thing regardless. Now, my thing is sometimes a t-shirt and shorts. Why? Because it is sometimes too dang HOT to dress up nice. Mind you I've just gotten a hold of some linen bits and some linen fabric, so that should change soonish....

My point being that being yourself need not be related to your clothing. If we judged on togs alone, I am NOT Steampunk.
It's all attitude.
Which, my good VGM, you have in spades.
(Though I suppose in your case we calls it, "'tude." )

[MalContent]

Well said Wraste...well said indeed...I would offer a virtual golf clap but can't figure out the key combination to make it appear...but really well stated.

[TribalWren]

I get called "Fag" a bit because of the lipstick.
On the days when I'm feeling like dealing with it, I ignore it.
On the days when I don't feel like dealing with it, I don't wear it.

The ladies love the lipstick, even though I take it off for kissing...

My point being: If you have the chutzpah to deal with it, then deal. If you don't, then don't get cranky when it happens and just go incognito that day.

Self expression is good, I fully endorse it, but Steampunk is more than fashion. It's an attitude.

YAY for Wraste! You are too awesome sometimes.  . I'm liking that shade of lippy you're wearing actually...details please!  I fully agree with your sentiments that it's not the clothing alone that makes you steampunk. Some folk CAN'T dress up steamy everyday just because of their professions or whatever. But anyhow sometimes it not even because of your clothing that you get hassled. My experience of chavdom over here has shown me that they can sniff out anyone who's different regardless of their togs....so if you got that 'alternative attitude' in you, then you might as well work it to the full cause at the end of the day you're always gonna get folks who are going to be closed minded. What's good though is occassionally you will find someone whom you can pleasantly surprise and change their preconceptions. That is MOST awesome.

>aside< *giggles* a fag is a cigarette though...why they calling you a cigarette?! 

[Nikola Tesla]

The ladies love the lipstick, even though I take it off for kissing...

Side note:  could some of the ladies consider doing this?  I like my crisp white collars...and the whole neck fetish thing the vampire crowd has given us can endanger them.

Side-note said, I find it interesting that the makeup thing for men has a place in steampunk the way it did in Goth, though maybe not as widely; it fits some with "steampunk as an alternative to Goth".  A friend of mine is looking into steampunk (mostly for conventions and other "costumey" things, so there's a lot less heckling) because it's "something people with chubby cheeks can also do", unlike Goth, which in her experience was perceived to only work on gaunt-type faces.  Maybe such concerns were some of the motivation for the current popularity of steampunk.

That plus the incredible longevity of this thread got me thinking this morning, is some of the "heckling" due to a perceived inability on the part of the target to "carry off" the look?  Is it that unremarkable looking people (short, tubby, chubby-cheeked, &c) have trouble not looking silly in unconventional clothing?  It wouldn't be the first time I'd had that notion.  For those in groups of people of "mixed" looks, do the people with more currently admired body types have an easier time in your experience?  This is not intended as a justification for heckling (if anything if biological traits that are hard to change are involved, it's even more unfair); it's just a set of thoughts.

Oh, edited to add:  another advantage of steampunk for the less than ideal physiques is that it's easier for older people.  To many, Goth has a sell-by date (for the record, I admit that I'm past it), whereas steampunk looks equally impressive on a variety of ages.  (Also, heckling goes way down as you move in older people circles, though it may not go away entirely).  As more Goths age and have this at-the-mirror realization (that 45 is old for a "pretty boy"), more "confirmed" steampunks may appear.

[Strange-Sara]

 Is it that unremarkable looking people (short, tubby, chubby-cheeked, &c) have trouble not looking silly in unconventional clothing?

I don't think so.  I'm quite obese, and my best friend is an underwear model (and biochemist, but that's less relevant to the topic at hand), and she gets heckled as much or more than I do. 

As a side note, I actually feel I look much LESS ridiculous in steampunkery, with its tailoring and old fashioned vibe, than I would in "conventional" fat lady clothing like T shirts and sweats, which is just hideous.  I too am passed from "baby punk" to "elder goth" to "too old for this shit".

[Nikola Tesla]

As a side note, I actually feel I look much LESS ridiculous in steampunkery, with its tailoring and old fashioned vibe, than I would in "conventional" fat lady clothing like T shirts and sweats, which is just hideous.  I too am passed from "baby punk" to "elder goth" to "too old for this shit".

You probably have a good point there.  Steampunk does seem to be more fat-friendly in particular than most of our other current fashion choices (and about that Goth is a case in point, with its "heroin look" or whatever you call it.  Again for the record, when I look at fashion I do not want to think of terminal disease or of Auschwitz).  Especially the T-shirt and sweats thing, which seems a conspiracy against fat women in particular to encourage them to view their looks as a lost cause.  (And they get heckled when they dress like that too, just for being fat!)  Fat men at least have access to tailored suits and jackets intended to make them look put together at whatever weight.  Probably steampunk on fat people looks good for the same reason the chubby cheeks don't matter either.

Or maybe we in our modern era have simply completely forgotten what fashion is about.

[Lord Wraste]

Mal,
Thank you. It seems that my half-sleeping thoughts do sometimes coalesce into something worthwhile!

Wren,
The red is called Diva the purple is called Cyber, both by M.A.C. They're more of a deep red berry and eggplant, respectively, but that's the names!
And I see what you mean by people of dubious intent being able to sniff out "different." That's happened to me many times before.
Doesn't matter though. At the end of the day if you're good with who you are then that's that.

And the "Fag" comment was actually recent. Never mind that I'm not a funny-faced teen anymore. I was at the mall and had just gotten the Cyber because my old black lip color had seen better days. A group of ghettoed out kids yelled, "What's up, Faaaaag!?" in an attempt to get my attention and possibly start a ruckus. I ignored them, because that is what you do with people bent on reinforcing a stereotype try and prove themselves to their friends. You ignore them.

Nikola,
I come from a place where the obese get themselves Gothed up too. I don't think that weight has too much bearing on the fashion in itself. I personally think that part of the reason Goth and Steampunk work for everyone is that you have to THINK about what it is you're wearing more than the average person does ever. When you dress cookie-cutter, you look cookie-cutter. SP and Goth lend themselves to figuring out on a whole what looks good on the individual.
I could be wrong though...

[Nikola Tesla]

SP and Goth lend themselves to figuring out on a whole what looks good on the individual.
I could be wrong though...

They do lend themselves to it, though not everyone who does Goth or SP does it in that way; cookie cutter versions of both have of course appeared.  Then there's also the "I don't like the version that looks good on me" thing, which sometimes comes up, and while this can lead to heckling I'm not about to tell other people what they can or can't do on the basis of what they can "carry off".  (Not saying you are either, though.)

That's assuming I even notice.  I've lived most of my life in large cities and/or on college campuses, where there are many "scenes" and often anything goes.  This means I often simply don't notice what others are wearing.

[Ben Hudson, Esq.]

Eh, I think most heckling boils down to this:

The nail that sticks out gets hammered.

And so this thread is about responses to this unfortunate fact:

Be such a hard nail that you chip the hammer, be such a flexible nail that the hammer-wielder gets frustrated and gives up, hammer back, etc.

That's a perfect explanation
(and I don't understand the whales either  )

Lord Wraste - I've never really thought about lipstick for men, but it actually looks rather good in your display photo, and I admire your determination to do what you feel like doing, rather than submitting to fairly arbitrary gender stereotypes.

[Vagabond GentleMan]

Make up on men is kinda cool!

The arbitrary gender expectations regarding dress styles is pretty funny, really.
In the 18th century men were wearing wigs, makeup, high heels, stockings, and geez, all sorts of 'girly' stuff from the POV of a modern Westerner.

[RoseOak]

Make up on men is kinda cool!

The arbitrary gender expectations regarding dress styles is pretty funny, really.
In the 18th century men were wearing wigs, makeup, high heels, stockings, and geez, all sorts of 'girly' stuff from the POV of a modern Westerner.

Its very cool.
High heels and corsets were things designed for men. I think the heels were around 15th century France (where else) and  Cuban heels for example, only 40/50 years ago. In the early 1800's a wasp waist in men was very fashionable. No one is talking about  a whole Prince Poppycock here but take your pick  out of of 18th century Macaronis and Dandies
http://www.uwm.edu/%7Ewash/macaroni.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v630/Nickphoto/427px-Macaroni_1773.jpg

[Nikola Tesla]

Actually a couple of companies, noting that if makeup were as popular among men as among women they'd make twice the profit, have been trying to mainstream the makeup for men idea by putting out versions of the same products with "manlier" colors and names.  That's a bit silly, actually, since it's the same product in either case, and the same colors look different on different people.  There was a guy at my grad school who had fair skin and quite dark hair, and tended to get five o'clock shadow at about noon or so.  He admitted to covering it with makeup sometimes when it wasn't a lab day, stating that it was double important to get the color just right so people wouldn't know he was wearing it.  He didn't tend to wear lipstick or Goth-boy eyeliner, though; he was the "just a normal dude" type.  So it isn't unheard of even among the "mundanes".